15 replies to this topic

[Trevsked]

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park..
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £2000. Morning-suit rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
Y ou can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. ...........None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. .........She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. ......There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[Scotty C]

like.

[gt111]

Copied and pasted

[nigeninja]

yep that's all the code I live by,well done that man for reminding me I'm a real man

[pete]

presumably the wife is not on the forum

[Trevsked]

First person I sent it to. No need to grow a pair this end Pete.

Trevor.

[LooseCannon]

Isn't it awesome being a bloke?

[steve930]

lol so true

[Petrol feet driven]

Let my wife read it, she laughed then moaned. Then told me why it was all wrong!

[mayesprit]

Lol. That's pretty spot on.

Can I also just add (I've just been reminded) that by being a bloke, all Birthday Cards, Xmas Cards, Anniversary Cards ect ect, seem to buy, write and post themselves somehow!

[cjtpb13]

Also another rule...As a man...

The woman can tell you what do to or how to do it...however they are not allowed to do both

[CHANGES]

What a great start to the day , with a chuckle , then realising it is all true and isn't life great. .

[Boots]

A big thank you to Trev for this. I'm gonna print it out and carry a copy around with me.

Why?

The next time I moan about:

How I have to untangle his grundies from his trousers to wash them
About poor toilet aim
Him drinking from the carton (no telling what 'nasties' he has left behind!)
His temporary blindness when it comes to his mess
The way he compacts the rubbish in the kitchen bin so he doesn't have to empty it
When stops mid conversation to drool over a car
The way bits of car 'mysteriously appear on my dining table
On a freezing day he asks for my help on the car, then precedes to spout profanities and does it al by himself anyway

No man can 'tut' and roll their eyes and I can whinge to my hearts content because Trev has given me definitive proof that men are happier than women!!

Sue x

P.S. Rest assured I will distribute this 'proof' amongst all the women I can.

[slewthy]

Well, I dont believe men are happier.

That list gives all the things women moan about.

Its a well known fact that women are ONLY happy when they have something to moan about. Look how generous we all are.

[Roz Bennetts]

Hahaha nice one Trevor, had a good chuckle at that.

[Trevsked]

Sue,

Always nice to have a ladies opinion on a subject and if there's one thing women aren't short of, it's opinions :-)

Roz,

Still around then

Trevor.