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Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/08/14 in all areas

  1. 3 points
  2. 2 points
    OK, lets get it out there! Reading about Robin Williams and how he was depressed, which led to Alcohol and drug addiction, has made me want to vocalise. I am sure many of us reading this have suffered from or know people who have been/are depressed and I am not, in any way, ashamed of admitting that I have been. When I was 32 I had been attending the gym for 15 years, 4 days a week, I had a 34 inch waist and weighed 14.5 stone. Then my boys were born and having 4 kids meant I just flatly couldn't afford the time or money to keep going. Over the next 10 years I piled on the pounds until at 42 years old I was 18.5 stone and had a 44 inch waist. Then one day, with Wendy, we were on our way to a party and I just burst into tears. I told her that if she wasn't in the car I would have just driven into the nearest tree at 100mph. At this point Wendy booked me a doctors appointment. Long story short (ish) me being depressed made me drink...more. That depressed me further, I piled on the pounds and that made me worse and because I hated myself I drank even more and then I found I couldn't sleep without a drink, which made me tired and grumpy during the week when I couldn't drink because I was driving. This all added up to what the Doc called "A chemical imbalance in the brain" that had me angry one minute and suicidal the next. I went on to Amitriptiline in a high dose, which not only helped me sleep but made me "happier" and whilst I was doing that I had a lifestyle change. I applied for something I have always wanted to do as a second job and started back at the gym 4-5 days a week. 2 years later I came off the tablets at 15.5 stone and with a 36 inch waist. I volunteer my spare time to a good cause and feel awesome. I stopped drinking during the week and just have 1 night (normally a sat or Friday) when I have a drink. I understand why Robin Williams did what he did (I would have tried it if Wendy hadn't been there at that particular instant), depression changes you and makes you think things that you would never normally would. I will put it out there that if anyone here, reading this, ever needs to talk to someone, you can just message me and I will give you my number. If not, please feel free to tell us your experience here so everyone knows they are not alone. Ever.
  3. 2 points
    Continuing the big pad theme! Local Lotus club BBQ, had the roof out even on the way home, about 11pm, nice evening.
  4. 2 points
    I have been battling depression myself this last year, and until you are affected you have no idea how it can affect your life. I was amazed at how things I loved (like cars) suddenly held no interest to me, it was scary. I now understand how you can be universally loved, a string of hit films, lovely family, all the money in the world and still not be happy. RIP Robin. Mork and Mindy was one of the first TV programmes I loved as a kid.
  5. 1 point
    Depression is an illness, only those who have or had it can truly understand. Please don’t ever judge anyone who has/had depression it’s a mental illness and can’t be helped, we are still human and it could be you. My depression started many years ago things happened to me in the past that should never happen to anyone. I was fine when my children lived with me I never really had a chance to think about what happen in my past I like all mothers was too busy looking after and raising the children. Then the children grow up and leave home and now with less to keep me and my mind active memories return and depression sets in. Slowly at first, then full on. I knew something was wrong so visited my Dr who at first prescribed depression tablet’s, couldn’t sleep so sleeping tablet then I had phobias about going out, always thinking someone was going to stab me, yet hated enclosed spaces, so next went on valium and tramadol for arthritis. 9 years I was on these tablets, Years of wearing a false mask smiling and joking, acting normal but inside I felt empty and dying. Did the medication help, no they made me worst. 3 Overdoses, none for them planned it just happened; I never called anyone and told them I did it, but someone always found me. Each one was to end my life I couldn’t cope no more, the 3rd one I did die in the ambulance but they got me back. When I woke up I just said why, did you not let me die. People say what about your family/friends you’re selfish, you’re not any of them you get to the stage you just don’t care about anyone or anything far less yourself, and you’re a robot, so empty inside nothing ever makes sense. The doctor gave me more pills and the same thoughts crossed my mind again but by now I had had enough of pills ruling my life so I went cold turkey for 3 weeks, boy I was ill but I began to feel better in myself, I went a see my Doctor and she was so shocked that I did not wean myself off the tablets but could see how well I was looking. Yes I saw many shrinks but it didn’t help me due to me having too many past problems. Do I suffer from depression now, occasionally Yes! Do I still take tablets for it, No. I now know how to control it so it does not get that bad again. It no longer controls me and I have a fantastic husband that understands depression. I have now been off medication for over 5 years and feel like I will never need them again, I have conquered my demons and now have a good positive lifestyle and mind. Never look down on someone who is going through depression, you never know you could wake up tomorrow and you could be that person. Wendy .
  6. 1 point
    Now i know why you guys all own and run Lotus, It takes balls and guts to admit and speak as above, just like owning a Lotus. I salute you all.
  7. 1 point
    More than 20 cars participated in the rally last Saturday (and 30 cars on the track day on Friday). Great party all weekend and nice Lotus people as always!
  8. 1 point
    I very nearly did a thread like this a few weeks ago to document my recent battle, so Kimbers I applaud you for doing so. I am currently coming off my tablets, doing every other day at present and in a week I will be done. At the moment I feel great, and I hope it continues. The fear, of course, is a relapse - I have already had one - but will need to take that day if it happens. I would start by saying I never believed in depression - it was just a lame excuse. When Kurt Cobain of Nirvana killed himself it was a case of how could anyone in his situation, with his wealth and status, do that? Here is my story. I had a fab childhood, which was brought to an end at the age of 18 when my mum died of breast cancer. Having had a very protective upbringing, I finally had to stand on my own two feet. It was the one good thing that did come out of the event, but its fair to say my adult life had never been really happy. My first ever sign of depression was in 2004, when I fell for a girl who was a customer of mine and dealt with several times a day, five days a week. I did ask her out, which was politely declined, and I knew she wasn't my type and I wasn't hers. But I was crazy about her, and it was torturing me having to deal with her every day and not be able to express my feelings. I started ringing her at weekends and was close to loosing my job over it. It was only the fact my brother was getting married that year and I was best man that was keeping me alive, but suicide was in my mind and I was going through how I would do it. Then someone at work (who was getting divorced) hung himself. I was firstly shocked by the reaction, one of anger and pity. That kept me alive ironically, I saw how wrong it was, and turned a corner. I recovered on my own back to where I was, and within six months was in a relationship with someone else. That only lasted four months, after which I sought counselling. It was great, and I have had a half full attitude ever since, I always keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than me and I am actually very lucky, despite what has happened in the past. I was then single for seven years, a very lonely life but one I was used to and became normal. I got into my last relationship in June two years ago, and I then had everything I wanted in life. Again ironically, she was the first person close to me who developed depression, she had a balance disorder and had six months off work. The sheer boredom of that, plus the fact her cat had gone missing meant she went onto medication. I have to say I felt useless, why did me not being around make any difference or help? She could sometimes barely want to touch me. I just didn't understand. She recovered well and we got back on track. However, long term she wanted kids and I didn't and that ultimately split us after nine months in March last year. We kept in touch, but she was back in a relationship within six months. I was devastated. One Sunday night I logged onto my Facebook page to see my news feed filled with photos of her with her new bloke on their first date. That was something you never had in the days before social media. My friends didn't understand depression. The one person who did was my ex, the very person who was causing mine and was the only person I wanted to talk about it - but clearly couldn't. I was blocked on FB and we have not seen or spoken since. I was about to buy myself a new car - a great scenario that doesn't come around too often. It was a chore, it felt like something I had to do rather than wanted to do. I got back onto dating websites, but only for something to do and hoping something might happen quickly like it did for her. Tears three times a day for two weeks was too much. The mental pain was unbearable. I wanted it to end, but have to say suicide was less of an option having had my experience some years previous - but it would solve the pain. I saw the doctor and went onto Citalopram, am pleased to say I never had to go past the minimum dosage. It got me through winter and Christmas, and I came off them in February. However I slipped back around Easter, but went back on them and they have got me up again. I have like Kimbers got back into the gym and look and feel great as a result. I like feeling happy. Its almost a new experience! Sorry if that's bit long. I wouldn't normally open my soul up in the way but I feel strongly to help others - never underestimate what depression can do to you.
  9. 1 point
    Darren at AIB did great, saved me £86.00 on my renewal. Thanks very much.
  10. 1 point
    Not the best video I've ever done but you get an idea...
  11. 1 point
    Many, many years ago when I was 20, I got arrested and locked up awaiting bail. I felt like shit, my world was f... and I started looking around the cell thinking about the worst thing I could do to myself. My shoelaces had been taken by the cops after I'd been fingerprinted thank goodness. That was a real watershed moment for me. Got to thinking about those close to me and thankfully was able to snap out of the situation. However, it taught me a lot about my psyche and speculate on how easy and unfortunate it can be for others to end up on gaol statistic sheets. (I once worked thereafter as a parole officer which had me closely involved with many prisoners and ex-cons who were or had suffered depression.) My moment of despair was so short and nothing compared to the suffering, loneliness and isolation depression brings. It's something I've never forgotten and one of the things I reflect on at times and when life wasn't going how I wanted. There's no easy answer or prescription for depression. We're all individuals. Listening, valuing and never belittling others is a good start.
  12. 1 point
    I have had a nervous breakdown. Got home from work one day and said hi to Liz. She asked if I was ok. I said no and then started crying. I cried for nearly 6 hours curled up in a ball on my bed. I suffer from depression and still take medication for it. That is after about 18 years. I find myself far less tolerant of people than I used to be. Maybe that is a coping technique that I have now ingrained in myself. Don't know. I felt worthless after the breakdown and really could not see a point to much. I was incapable of doing or thinking about multiple things at one time. I had to focus on one task and do it at the expense of everything else. I was living on about 8~10 panadol forte a day which didn't even touch the headaches and drank coke like a fish and was losing weight. I got through it after 3 months off work and then only going back to my job part time for about another 2~3 months. Years later and if I have to defuse by removing myself from a situation, I do. I wish depression on no-one really. It is an insidious disease that cares not one iota for who you are or who you think you are. Wealthy, poor, liked, not liked. All irrelevant. I would counsel anyone that feels as if things are getting on top of them, or if they feel as if they are just 'hanging on by a thread' to see their doctor and get referred to someone to talk to. I thought I could tough it out. I got smashed into the ground by it.
  13. 1 point
    and don't over tighten them - everyone seems to think the best way to fix the drip is crank harder.
  14. 1 point
    Hello. I've got an excel with the black saddle type covers. To be perfectly honest I wouldn't bother fitting the original gaskets and make new ones from 1.5mm cork gasket sheet. The original gasket is very stiff and has a difficult face to conform to. With the cork it's flexible and only needs a smear of grease to keep it in place while fitting. I've driven over 1000 miles with the home made gaskets and drip free.
  15. 1 point
    Very sad Some of the funniest people in public are the most depressed behind closed doors. Totally agree with what Ian has said above
  16. 1 point
    Ok not a person, but this little fella obviously thought I had good taste in colour
  17. 1 point
    For 9 years and 90k miles i drove a VX220. A pretty unusual car and it generated a large amount of attention. This is nothing, nothing in comparison with the Evora. As i've kept my private plate from the VX people know it's mine, but on the first few times i took it to work it was hidden up the back of the car park. However yesterday morning i parked it closer to the office as i was in early. By the end of the day 7 people had come to chat about it and i'd done 3 demo runs.

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