Report Bastard British Bumper Club in Esprit Chat Posted April 15, 2020 Well I am now a member of this horrible horrible club - and I did it with one single tool! Can you guess what the tool was? After psyching myself up to do this for a while and in lock down I decided to do it. Massive thanks to mr.oogieboogie For his fantastic write up. Mine is a 1996 S4S that is ex Northern England and it’s original ( and now thankfully very few) metal fixings aren’t even trying to look like there original selves - instead they look like furry browny black blobs with fuzzy poles of similar material poking out the top. Anyway after only 4 glorious hours of extreme yoga and contortionist feats it’s off!! My favourite bit was those two bolts furtherest up the under the wings with all the ABS tripe and relays cutting into your head on the right side and for some unknown reason a small riveted in plate on the other just to obscure your vision..... Due to the horrific rust I had to take the bumper / valance off together. I also found removing the bonnet a massive help. The car is now permanently dry stored and has emigrated to a non salted road land and has a full set of stainless fixings and aluminium plates waiting for installation- so next time it will be a breeze?!?