free hit
counters
Bittersweet Days - General Chat - The Lotus Forums Jump to content


Bittersweet Days


Recommended Posts

It was my twin girls 8th birthday on Friday and yet it was a deeply bittersweet day. Day started with girls coming to our room to open their presents, and thankfully my sisters came to help spoil them and lead Birthday cooking.

Reason for it being bittersweet sweet... I fear we’re into the decline with my wife’s brain tumour. Alex (my wife) has lost most feeling in her left side (she is left handed) so cannot write, cannot use cutlery in her left hand etc.
We’ve had three or four falls over the last few days, including one outside where the girls had to go ask for a neighbour to help Alex onto her feet. For sure, it’s been a tough few days :(

It was the twins birthday on Friday and for them to see mummy falling over onto their presents is something I can’t begin to imagine how they feel.

I sat and cried in front of them at breakfast yesterday, I just cried, no reason, fuck me it’s tough. You try and hold it together for their benefit and every now and then it spills over. Thankfully our kids are good kids and I’m deeply proud of the thoughtful, caring girls they are becoming,

I took the girls to London last weekend so they could see the lights and it was the first time I’ve had to weigh up not taking them or leaving Alex alone at home, not a nice set of decisions but ultimately the girls need positive experiences to get them them through this. I’ve a feeling that was the first three person trip, but won’t be the last as I think that’s the new normal now.

I’ve said before to a couple of people, but I’m almost certain this will be Alex’s last Christmas, not that I’d say that to her but I can’t see things improving.

Today, we took the kids with their cousins swimming and Alex had to sit on the side, falling asleep at times (with my mum). Christ it’s heart breaking when you see your wife of 15yrs reduced to someone who can barely walk and coordinate their limbs.

I feel this will be our last Christmas as a family of four and a high likelihood of me being a widower before I’m 40 (May).

Hug your families folks, apologies for a down post.

Lee.

  • Thanks 1
  • Sad 6

Currently Owned: 2018 Lotus Elise Sport 220 in Metallic Blue, Alcantara Pack, Forged Wheels, 2piece brakes, AirCon, Hard/Soft Tops, Red Calipers, Stereo, Interior Colour Pack, NVH Pack, Carpets, Mats.
Previously Owned: 2016 Lotus Evora 400 'Hethel Edition' in Essex Blue, Red Leather, Red Calipers, Silver Forged Wheels
Previously Owned: 2010 Lotus Evora NA in Solar Yellow, Sports Pack, Tech Pack, "Heritage Edition" Recaro Seats
Follow my Lotus journey here: http://www.FaceBook.com/HandmadeInHethel

Link to post
Share on other sites

Upgrade today to remove Google ads and support TLF.
  • Replies 111
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

10/08/78 - 10/01/19 💔 It is with deepest sadness that I have to share that OUR Alex passed at 12:20 today. She fought so very valiantly against her brain tumour. Diagnosed in Feb 2014, Alex underw

It was my twin girls 8th birthday on Friday and yet it was a deeply bittersweet day. Day started with girls coming to our room to open their presents, and thankfully my sisters came to help spoil them

Lee - just saw this on the news tonight; it was great to see the girls looking so pleased, and well done you for getting the story out. Alex would, I'm sure, have been very proud of you all. http

Posted Images

So so sorry for you all.

Don't apologise for a down post - we all need reminding that families do not stay the same forever but its a tough truth your girls are learning far too early in their lives.

Thoughts certainly with you Lee. Many many people will read you post but not write - too hard to know what to say - but that doesnt mean they are not also thinking for you.

Simon

  • Thanks 1

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been struggling to come up with the words for this but Stuart has put far better than I could.

I went through this with my mother as a child, be patient with your children and be strong for them in the coming years, they will need you far more than they will ever show.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lee

So sorry to hear of your woes

Life is so precious and at times its all too easy to forget.

You sound a great family and however it turns out your wife will shape the lives of you and your girls. 

Im sure you can take heart with the good times and I hope you can enjoy happy moments as a family in the coming year.

Best wishes for Xmas and the new year.

 

buddsy

 

 

  • Thanks 1

 

"Belief is the enemy of knowing" - Crrow777

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Lee, for sharing this with us, 

It puts things into perspective, I can't begin to imagine how tough these last few years have been for you Alex and the girls, and having read and discussed with my partner, the awful circumstances you have had to enjour, it makes us realise how lucky we are.

I've not had the pleasure to meet you in person, but my family's love and thoughts are with you through these difficult times. You know how important this Christmas is for all of you, so enjoy these treasured moments to the best of your ability and we hope that you may share another.

Merry Christmas 

Steve

 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

No need to apologise for a down post Lee, keep strong for the girls.

Don’t bottle things up, talking about it does help. Sue and I are full of admiration for how you’ve coped with everything over the past 4 years, I’m not sure I could have done it. 

  • Love 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Gold FFM

Lee, what can I say bud. Every sentiment has been been expressed far better than I could ever do. I will say though, dont feel embarrassed or upset if you want to vent some anger, frustration or just pure pissed off. No one on here now would like to be in your position, so feel free to vent at any time. Good wishes to you and the family for what is going to be a trying time and by what you have said, it sounds like you and the Mrs have brought up a cracking pair of girls that you can be proud of. Cherish the memories you have, they will help through the tough times.

All the best, and thoughts are with you. 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Lee, 

i think Stuart summed this up better than I would ever to be able to, i don’t really have the words, I was 8 hours from the the unthinkable 6 years ago and it makes me appreciate absolutely every moment, especially at this time of year,. 

Enjoy every minute of Christmas and I really mean this give me a PM if you need a chat I spend a fair bit of time with people that are going through what I went through 

love mate 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Really feel for you mate, must be hard with the girls and for yourself and Alex. 

Enjoy your Christmas as much as you can, make memories.

  • Thanks 1

88 Esprit NA, 89 Esprit Turbo SE, Evora, Evora S, Evora IPS, Evora S IPS, Evora S IPS SR, Evora 400, Elise S1, Elise S1 111s, Evora GT410 Sport

Evora NA

For forum issues, please contact the Moderators. I will aim to respond to emails/PM's Mon-Fri 9-6 GMT. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have just shed a tear too Lee reading this, no need to apologize for the post as I believe its helpful letting your emotions out in this way.

I can only echo what the guys have said, try and ring every moment out of this Christmas, don't feel bad for any signs of weakness.

Someone somewhere has been through what you have, so you are by no means alone and we are a community - not just to help on car problems but everything.

All my best wishes.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not going to go on either Lee.

Have a great Christmas and a great New Year. Be happy for all the time you have left however long that may be.

  • Thanks 1

All we know is that when they stop making this, we will be properly, properly sad.Jeremy Clarkson on the Esprit.

Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, some just stink more than others.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow - This is a very sobering post Lee. No words at all. Thoughts with you at this very difficult time. 

  • Thanks 1

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk - that will teach us to keep mouth shut!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Jorge, most kind words.

Christmas has started here, we have my parents here, whom my daughters adore, so they will help mask some of Alex’s symptoms to avoid the girls worrying too much.

I love this place and the people who make th community what it is.

  • Like 1

Currently Owned: 2018 Lotus Elise Sport 220 in Metallic Blue, Alcantara Pack, Forged Wheels, 2piece brakes, AirCon, Hard/Soft Tops, Red Calipers, Stereo, Interior Colour Pack, NVH Pack, Carpets, Mats.
Previously Owned: 2016 Lotus Evora 400 'Hethel Edition' in Essex Blue, Red Leather, Red Calipers, Silver Forged Wheels
Previously Owned: 2010 Lotus Evora NA in Solar Yellow, Sports Pack, Tech Pack, "Heritage Edition" Recaro Seats
Follow my Lotus journey here: http://www.FaceBook.com/HandmadeInHethel

Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't imagine what you're going though but you've held it together way way more than i ever would. 

I've never seen a couple approach such a harrowing time with such determination and such happiness....even if inside i imagine you're both wanting to curl up in a ball.

It's good to get it out sometimes as even the most positive person needs an outlet.   Hope the next few days are brilliant for you and the family 

M

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks @LazyDonkey as you’ve probably followed on my Facebook, and the vx site since before this all kicked off 4yrs ago, you’ll have seen that I’m the kinda guy that lets the stuff slide that I can’t win and save my energy for the battles worth fighting.

We don’t have a choice over what happens next, so you just gotta ride the waves and go with it. Someone once said “oh, you’re so brave” but no, brave is a fireman choosing to run into a burning house.. brave is not fighting cancer, there is no choice where children and their futures are concerned. Somethings you just gotta do. Just every now and then, the cracks show.

Whatever happens I will do my hardest to protect and support my children, they are my future, whilst in the short term doing whatever it takes to support Alex.

  • Like 1

Currently Owned: 2018 Lotus Elise Sport 220 in Metallic Blue, Alcantara Pack, Forged Wheels, 2piece brakes, AirCon, Hard/Soft Tops, Red Calipers, Stereo, Interior Colour Pack, NVH Pack, Carpets, Mats.
Previously Owned: 2016 Lotus Evora 400 'Hethel Edition' in Essex Blue, Red Leather, Red Calipers, Silver Forged Wheels
Previously Owned: 2010 Lotus Evora NA in Solar Yellow, Sports Pack, Tech Pack, "Heritage Edition" Recaro Seats
Follow my Lotus journey here: http://www.FaceBook.com/HandmadeInHethel

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...