Your experience with Dog/pet death and having another

[Kimbers 1,781]

My poor baby Girl is slowly passing away in front of us. 

Its a hard thing to admit after 19 years of protecting the house, being annoying, keeping dad fit by demanding walkies all the time, loving just being with us and more importantly being my son's constant companion through his Aspergers, since he was 3 years old.

She had a stroke Friday and stopped eating 2 days ago. Now she is so weak she sleeps until Joe comes home from work, managers to sit up to get a cuddle from him then goes back to sleep.

The vet says she isn't in pain and its a good death to let her slowly pass away where she loves being, but in my heart and stomach I feel like I am losing a child.

I won't go into all the tears and feelings but wondered from you guys, my friends, your experiences.

Have you made the decision that losing your Dog was too much and you decided not to have another for that reason? Or have you been lost without a companion and got another straight away? Or something in between?

We want my boy to have another dog as a companion as Pickle has helped him relax and not stress so much. But He is saying he could never have another dog.

What did you do?

[Ali tuck 144]

Been through it a couple of times now and it’s the worst thing ever- the joy and love you get from a dog is so great and not worth being without.The benefits outweigh the negatives and you still need time to get over your old pup and we waited a couple of months before our new puppy arrived.i think it’s the best antidote-i hope she goes peacefully and pain free

[Kevin Wheeler 346]

We are going through much the same thing at the moment.

Our Molly has a very large tumour that is growing. We can do nothing about it and just assess her on a day to day basis.

Previously, we had Champ for 10/11 years. When he died, about 12 years ago, we replaced him fairly soon after with Molly and Roxy. Roxy died about two years ago.

It is a horrible situation to go through and I hate it. We have decided to have a break from dogs after we lose Molly. We have enough going on with looking after elderly relatives and grandchildren at this stage in our life. Adding another dog would just be too complicated although they are wonderful companions.

[march 813]

Sorry to hear of your situation. We have 8 dogs (soon to be possibly 20!, pups on the way next week) therefore this is something we periodically have to go through but we are never without dogs at our sides. Never nice but a fact of life, all we can do is make their lives as happy, healthy, enjoyable and comfortable as possible. I don't think we will ever be without dogs - probably wont get many burglars either.

[Kimbers 1,781]

36 minutes ago, march said:

Sorry to hear of your situation. We have 8 dogs (soon to be possibly 20!, pups on the way next week) therefore this is something we periodically have to go through but we are never without dogs at our sides. Never nice but a fact of life, all we can do is make their lives as happy, healthy, enjoyable and comfortable as possible. I don't think we will ever be without dogs - probably wont get many burglars either.

What dogs are those and would one of the puppies be available to a good cause?

[march 813]

@Kimbers - Hi, they are Rhodesian Ridgebacks. Unfortunately all puppies and more were spoken for a long time before they even existed.

[pete 1,798]

We have always had 2 dogs one older than the other. When one one goes we have the other one but doesn't make it any easier. Another dog tends to find us a few months later. However forgot what having a puppy means

[TAR 397]

19 years is a grand old age!

I've grown up with boxer dogs who, on average, have a short lifespan of not much more that 10 years. I've seen 7 of my loving companions pass away with the assistance of a vet. It's always heart wrenching but I guess you can see where I'm going with this.

We always ended up with another one to fill the void.

Since having dogs in my own right, I've had two pass away. I felt I needed some time to get over the loss and waited around a year before looking.

A dog always brings huge joy and will love you unconditionally, they really are mans best friend..

There's nothing wrong with admitting the need to grieve for your pets. 

 

 

[stephenwhyte 1,900]

I feel for you @Kimbers......but try to remember the times you’ve had with your wee girl....that’s something that will stay with you forever! 

We lost the wee guy below a year and a half ago and it was the saddest day I’ve ever had as we had to have him put down Sadly he was having fits, and one eventually took him too far and the kindest thing to do was to let him go to the rainbow in the sky  

Frodo was a Standard Dachshund and was the funniest character you’ll ever see.....so bloody clever that I was convinced he was only one paw step away from talking! Always up to something but never really any trouble. 13 years old when he died and brought so much bloody fun to our lives as you’ll see in the pics below. 

With regard to your vote, we waited and now have a puppy being made for us as I write, and we don’t know for sure yet but is hopefully part of a litter yet to be born - but fingers crossed will be born at the end of the month.

It takes a bloody long while to move forward when you lose a close animal friend, but you learn to accept it and for me, my aim was always to try to be strong enough to move forward & get another dog....and we are going to see that through. My Dad had a similar loss years ago & wasn’t strong enough and only now regrets not getting another dog.

Stay strong @kimbers - but remember if you feel they’re struggling in any way don’t keep them living longer than they really should.....it really is kinder to let them go. Very difficult but you’ll always feel better knowing you did the right thing. One thing I’m looking forward to is going back to the incredibly sensitive vet we use with a newly born puppy and see the joy on his face!

Enjoy the time you have
 

[eeyoreish 876]

For us it is a cat but he is still our companion and part of the family. When we lost our little boy ‘Chancer’ a few years ago we decided to wait a little while and let the right cat come to us.

That it did, in the form of ‘Monty’ when out of the blue a friend of a friend’s cat had an unexpected litter and was looking for homes. We went to see the kittens and little Monty pushed himself forward as if to say ‘I’m the one’.  He’s such a lovely boy, meant to be...

It’s a heart wrenching time and all you can do is what you feel is right so you have no regrets when they’re gone. If you do need the vet to intervene, trust me, you’ll know when that time is because in their own way they will tell you.

[ADF 56]

I really feel for you, been through this a few times and it never gets easier.  19 is a great age and she's clearly well loved.  I've only had vet intervention but being with them to comfort them at the end was important to me and if the dogs in pain at all you really have no choice.  As you can imagine it is extremely unpleasant emotionally but it seemed completely painless (other than the injection), I think they sedated Max first so just fell asleep while I stroked him and he looked quite peacefull (he was a young dog with untreatable cancer and was in a bit of discomfort). 

Dogs are remarkably tough little animals and seem to put up with things alot better than us.  Passing peacefully at home seems a sad but good option if advised by a vet.

Getting another dog is obviously a personal thing, sometimes life changes and not having a dog does free you up a bit.  Me, I gave it sometime about 6 months ish (After Willow,the last of the previous 2 went, I did need a bit of time to grieve) then went to the dogs trust, its then a bit late to not end up with one (or two) once you've looked into the big brown eyes and been jumped on and licked.

It is a sad fact of dog ownership, that they seem to have such short lives but its what we all sign up for when we open up our lives and hearts to them. The brightness they add is only slightly diminished by their passing and as long as I've got the time to commit to their needs I wouldnt be without them.(but I am a soft git when it comes to dogs, whats that Archie? You NEED another biscuit)

Take care, 

[mdw 273]

It's the only downside of having them in your life. We lasted 3 weeks after Jasper died before we went to the rescue centre and found  Reg. Had to wait a week as the dog warden had just picked him up and to wait for his old owners to say they didn't want him. Always had rescues, never had a problem. 

[ADF 56]

Who could not want him?. Fully agree, rescues all the way.  Have had some challenges with mistreated dogs but plenty of patience, understanding and biscuits gets through most problems and ultimately very rewarding. 

[yeller77 98]

Toughest part of pet ownership, so I feel your (impending) loss, Kimbers. We had to let our Buddy go after nearly 16 years just before the pandemic ginned up. After about a year of senior care, we could see his own frustration and difficulty with his infirmity and had to make "the decision." We had done the deed in the office of our trusted veterinarian in the past, but were glad we made the decision to go for a service that offered euthanasia in the home, surrounded by us all and his most comfortable surroundings. Very respectful for his life of service to us, though no less difficult to let him go. We'd had him since our now 20 y/o daughter was 4 so sometimes the kids know little else but when the pet was part of the family. Your boy will have it rough, but life lessons are good, all dogs go to heaven, and as soon as he looks into the adoring eyes of a puppy or new dog he may have different thoughts. We are empty nesters now, so while we've said we'd like a new pet at some point, we are, for now, getting used to traveling without boarding, or going out without concern of what mischief we will find when we get back. Sixteen and nineteen years are still eternities for a pet. In the same vein as I lost my father at age 96 last year, tough to go through, but Good God those long years were a blessing over the alternative. Here's Buddy doing his favorite thing in old age once his bones told him he couldn't retrieve like he used to.

[ramjet 1,086]

Been through it as well with dogs and cats Kimbers. Hard with either, but I would say dogs are harder as they just want to be around you all the time pretty much, where as cats tend to go where is the food and now I'm going to go and find some sun to sleep in.

We have always replaced our dog with another. When we lost our last Shetland Sheepdog, we replaced him with two dogs. A King Charles, Pippin, who had a hear attack and died at about 4 and a Pomeranian who considers herself to be a big dog the way she acts. Meesha is 13 and we have started to notice things change with her, so we are not sure how much longer she may be around.

Liz said the other day in the yard that she wants to replace her with another dog eventually.

We may look at a rescue next time as well.

[Kimbers 1,781]

Thanks everyone. I have read most of these posts with tears in my eyes. The human capacity for love is amazing, especially when its for a 4 legged friend.

As i look down to my right shes sitting there, shaking a bit with the effort to be up and about. Last night she pooped on the floor and there was blood in it. So I am petrified but will be making a call to the vet tomorrow. She's an absolute fighter and despite her legs going with the stroke she still tries to crawl upstairs to be with my son. Everytime we think she's going she gets a second wind. She slept all day today and hadn't moved. when I shook her and called her she still didn't move. Food, treats, all noting. Then just an hour ago she got up had a drink ate a tiny bit of meat went out to the loo and is now sitting up.

We had all said good bye to her! Lol. I am laughing and crying at the same time as her capacity for wanting to be around us and somehow finding a way is huge.

Tomorrow the vets coming to see her. I suspect he may want to put her down now because of the blood. We think she may have a tumour inside which is what caused the stroke and why she isn't eating.

[mik 376]

Aw Kimbers - that’s rubbish.

We lost our older Lab 3 years back (at only 10.5yrs old). She was really unwell with lots of internal adhesions - but they couldn’t tell how bad it was. Rather than have her put down immediately, we agreed to let Glasgow Vet School try and save her. 8hrs in surgery, but it wasn’t to be. We got to see her the following day - face swollen with the meds but she still managed a tail wag when she heard mrs mik’s voice. We got to hold a paw as they did what had to be done. One of the hardest things....

Our other lab (9 at the time) was lost - we’d come home and she was silent (very unusually) - hiding upstairs and only coming down when she realised it was us.

Following one particular walk where said normally rock-solid-on-her-recall dog spotted a yellow lab on the other side of a field and tore off. No amount of calling her back was going to work, but she returned of looking gutted when she realised it wasn’t her missing buddy.... We ended up at Dogs Trust. This was about 6 weeks later - just to register - and we had another dog within another 2 weeks.

There is never any replacing, but the new challenge and relationship building really helped us overcome the grief. 
 

Good luck for tomorrow sir.

[comem47 229]

Sorry if this is not exactly keeping to the subject This has an interesting twist (my wife's stepmom sent it to us*) It tugs at the heart of dog lovers.

https://www.chonday.com/16478/bsutytranpl3/

(in keeping with the subject we've had 3 overlapping dogs . The last one that died was a 19 yr old Pom that was my wife's baby and we got him at age 5 from the local shelter.  We now have a 2 yr old Keeshond we got as a puppy and it picked on the cataract old age Pom in over aggressive play near the end. (Now that the Pom is resting in peace it can be said the puppy helped with our grief of losing our long time family member and it would have been better if they had a longer time with each other before the Pom got so old)

* (I'm waiting on a kidney transplant list)

Edited October 12, 2020 by comem47

[Kimbers 1,781]

Vet is coming at 2.30 today and I have felt sick to the pit of my stomach since the call yesterday.

I know its the right thing but I both dread it for myself as I am the only one here to hold her and I dread it for her because....well the obvious.

@comem47sorry mate I didn't know about you awaiting a transplant. Big hugs back to you.

[comem47 229]

Kimbers,  Best wishes today. Our Vet has always been super at these times.

As for getting another dog . I gave my wife our new Keeshond as a XMAS present, but it was not a surprise or  quick decision and as mentioned done before our Pom passed.

We weighed several things like it being a life commitment again (her first dog was a Keeshond who lived for 14 yrs), but also entering in was the fact that we have custody of our grandson and know it 's a great thing to teach him responsibility as well as having a live in friend (no problem with him having human friends).  I also had selfish reasons such as the endorphins you get petting such a friend.(when you're down, nothing like a faithful dog to hug -besides my wife of course) It's been challenging with training, but the laughs you get from them makes it worthwhile. 

So, after thinking we pushed the go button again and drove to another state to get a puppy (hard to find breed). My wife warned me as yes, starting at the puppy level is hard).

Again, best wishes.

[Kimbers 1,781]

She's gone. God I'm gonna miss her but not as much as my Son. She has been his constant companion for 15 years and always helped with his aspbergers. 

She settled right at the end like she knew it was time. And let them put a line in. Glad I was there with her talking to her as she fell asleep.

RIP Pickle, go get those squirrels.

[yeller77 98]

Feel for you and your family, mate. Time and sometimes a new companion heals all wounds. Best to you all going forward. 

[Kevin Wheeler 346]

So sorry to hear that @Kimbers.

 

[TAR 397]

You've done the right thing. You'll know that as time goes by. 

[ADF 56]

Feel for you and your family following the loss of pickle, its really tough but it sounds as if you made the right decision.  All the best for the future.