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Kimbers

How to Lose control of an Esprit

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1. Take one CEO of Lotus to the shops and try and impress him.

2. Come off roundabout behind an Audi driver who doesn't know where he's going.

3. Hit dual Carriageway get frustrated and undertake.

4. driver infront of Audi see's you coming and blocks you on purpose...at 40mph.

5. Make a space and zip past him in the outside lane coming into the second roundabout.

6. After being wound up by both drivers hit the roundabout at 50mph and accelerate hard to dig the rear end in.

7. At 70mph lose the rear end on the direction change as you come off the roundabout. Nicely control the drift.

8. hit the "non slip" surface just the other side of the roundabout, feel the back dig in and do the equivelent of a motorbike Highside as the back end swings the opposite way with a sharpe 5g snap.

9. Saw the wheel frantically trying to regain control and stop 2mm away from the armco across both lanes.

10. Sheepishly drive off with said CEO of Lotus complaining that his back hurts and he needs a change of underwear, saying "I had it till that bloody non slip surface snapped it back" whilst secretly shaking and needing a change of underwear yourself.

Just a supposed incident that could possibly happen................. <_<


Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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Naturally, you blamed the fundamental flaws in the cars handling.

Hope to Christ it's not given old man Kimbers a reason to fit traction control to future models.......if it does, I'm blaming you big boy!!!

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Just tell dad that he's lucky it was an Esprit :yes

TVR version:

6. hit the roundabout at 50mph and accelerate hard to dig the rear end in.

7. At 70mph lose the rear end on the direction change as you come off the roundabout.

8. Depart roundabout backwards on the exit after the one intended <_<

Equally ficticious of couse.....

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Been there done that with friends in the car!!!

It was in my cosworth RS500 and one of them said why did you buy this car to which my response was to plant the throttle and with the words 'because it does this!!' I shot off the island. The car snapped one way then the other and then the rear gripped, whilst slewed across the road at an angle, and fired us into someones rockery.

Immeadiately afterwards the mate who coent obviously feeling bad said...at least its just a wheel curbed.........we then tried to open the doors, unfortunately the whole fron end was now is aligned and we opened the straight into the front wings!!!!Now that was an expensive night out!!!!

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Arent you supposed to give up trying to impress your Dad once you hit 18. They love you and think chip off the old block, but they dont get impressed. Just quietly Tut Tut and think ..... he will never learn!

Seriously Tony, the driver in that fictitious scenario was a lucky boy. Tell him to take it easy. As they said on TG last night the new Cock brigade are Audi drivers. Let them be top of the Cock-o-meter.

His esprit already says Nuff Respect as it is. Sedate can be ultra cool you know because it oozes confidence without flaunting it.

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Now that's a great excuse to let said ceo of motoring company give you access to alocal private test track to practice at will lol

Cheers


Alan Croft

2000 V8 GT

87 Turbo Esprit HC

2000 Elise Sport 160

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Yes, happened to me once in the Griffith, had a mate in the car, left a junction at the front of the convoy and thought i'd impress them all by leaving in spectacular fashion. I was cacking it as i was going from one lock to the other up the road trying to bring it back in line when finally she gave up and flipped round (on a one way street) facing a few of my other friends in their cars with a look of total disgust on their faces. My mate sh*t himself, i just laughed which made it alot better for me, but i felt like a complete tool and never did it again, lesson learnt, no show boating on slippery roads!!


Adding power makes you faster on the straights. Subtracting weight makes you faster everywhere.

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See my avatar for result of not regaining control. Testing the outer limits of adhesion in an Esprit can be unforgiving.

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Agreed that it can be.... I, however, do find the Esprit to be one of the most predictable cars i've ever driven... It's not like an STI where... once you hit the edge of adhesion... you're cooked.

As for you Tony... So glad you're okay!


Modifying esprit's.. now that's fun..

PS... I AM NOT A CERTIFIED MECHANIC.. I Have chosen to help those in need, in the past and must not be construed as being a certified technician.

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.......(sigh)..........doh.......


Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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Sounds like one of those experiences that renders the need for a change of underwear! Glad the three of you are okay.


Just because you can, does'nt mean you should.

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Holy $hit Tony!

I guess you just found out you aren't too old to be spanked... Verbally or automotively.

Hope you aren't too hard on yourself.

I've only done a tank slapper in the Lotus on the track, never on the street. I have in my Acura though... Narrowly missed all kinds of nasty stuff.


Travis

Vulcan Grey 89SE

My Lotus Photo and Projects Album

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Thos Damn slow drivers!!! they are everywhere. They cause the problem you describe... but... there is a fix. follow the below steps and you will be able to leave the slowies behind and maintain coltrol of your Esprit...

1. Raise the front of the car.

2. On the side oppisite the air horn, install a mounting bracket. This can be done by accessing the above area through the the same hole used to access the fog lamps.

3. Attatch an aftermarket auto latch of the type used to remote open a boot.

4. at the end of this bolt up 5 27mm tube with a bevel angle cut at the rear. Drill two small holes in the top side. Angle them 2 decrees down to the front.

5. load the tubes with 5 27mm zoomie rockets. these can be manufactured seperatly from hardware store componants or "aguired" from other sources. The zoomies marked "phosphorus" or "LAP concussion" are the best.

6. Feed fire control wires through grommets/holes on tube when zoomies loaded.

7. attached wire hot lead to a push switch in dash... and onto a hot wire. Black to ground as usual running through a master arm switch. Split off of this switch to the boot latch. When "armed' the boot latch will drop the tubes a bit for better lauch clearance...

Now, the next time a slow polk pulls into you simply drop back 20 meters or so, flip the master arm, punch the push button, a let a zoomie fly off up the road. At this point I promise you that Mr. Slowy will get properly motivated to get the hell out of you way or the second zoomie might get him! Then said CEO for Lotus will be inspired and we will get to see an Esprit in the new Bond films... or COPs in London. Either way the car gets exposure!

Cameron

Edited by Autocross7

"If you feel that you are in total control of the car, well, your just not driving fast enough". Jimmy Clark

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Right, that's two incidents that I know of Squadron Leader, so now is the time to think hard about what you are doing whilst on the road, for the sake. of the public, yourself and now your family.

'nuff said?

Good, now gonna sit and watch "Police, camera, action."


Dave.

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When you lose control of the Esprit, i think it's one of the scariest moments ever...then the saddest as you survey the


Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.

Homer : Marge, you can either sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts...

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Kylie, I'm trying to work out which skids you're referring to, maybe the ones outside the car....

Anyway, to ensure ongoing public safety and Kimbers life, not to mention that of a certain key member of the future of Lotus. I hereby offer to babysit a certain red S4 for the next few months. I promise to treat it no worse than the owner when it comes to driving style, and since such pleasure is derived in cleaning it, I shall leave that to the owner.

Kimbers, when should I come and pick it up????????

And what's this about a previous incident?

I'd better not claim to keep mine within its limits. The other day, on the way to work i turned off a mini-roundabout, applied some right foot but not full throttle, it was during the severe rear end tail wagging that set in that I realised the car in front was a colleague. I thought it was fine, he wouldn't see it, strangely he commented for quite some time that morning about seeing my car in his rear view mirror, swerving all over the road.

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And what's this about a previous incident?

Flying under the radar :)

More than 'nuff said now <_<


Dave.

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Tony, thanks for being man enough to post the story in the first place, and take the inevitable "flack". Ownership of these cars can sometimes induce a sense of supernatural powers and an ability to defy the laws of physics. My guess is that there is not one of us that has not gotten a bit "outside the envelope" on occasion. We need to hear of such stories from time to time to remind us of our limitations. Glad to hear you, dad, and the vehicle are all in one piece.

John


Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose.

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Geez Tony, I read this topic through fingers covering my eyes expecting to hear and see your car wrapped around a hedgehog!

whew.

Iain

Edited by iainskea

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