free hit
It would appear we are all Imbeciles - Lotus / Motoring / Cars Chat - The Lotus Forums - Official Lotus Community Partner Jump to content


It would appear we are all Imbeciles

Recommended Posts

Has everyone within the press suddenly developed an allergy to their own spine!!

So what there saying is that even for a headlight or brake light problem we should be trapping off to our local dealership (read advertiser in autotrader) and paying through the nose!!

This is the worst kind of sensationalistic journalism set up to promote fear and try and sway people toward spending money on srevices advertised by that publication/channel.

It is precisely this type of journalism that has led to me not reading newspapers any longer and largely not watch television news.

How much does a marketing director really know about this.............not a fat lot in my experience, he's just there to sell advertising space and in this case protect his advertisers!!!

What a prize bunch of idiots.

Rant over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Upgrade today to remove Google ads and support TLF.
  • Replies 24
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

I agree with your rant. The examples they give...people having the cheek to try to fix lights... rediculous. Also trying to ment faulty electric windows.

As far as i know not many traffic jams are caused by electric windows sticking!!

Look what Q's brought us. Isn't it nice!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With all those dangerous cars about to hit the roads, its a good job I am staying at home this bank holiday!

This book is guaranteed to NOT change your life…but it does mention a Lotus Esprit...

To enjoy this masterpiece, download Martin now. Simples!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"The Auto Trader survey found almost three quarters of motorists will try and replace brake pads or discs, with a further 70 per cent feeling confident to repair broken head or break lights."

Shouldn't that read 'brake lights' ?

Gives you some idea of the level of journalism. I suspect the expertise is along a similar level of the YTS guy at the local dealer who would be fixing these things if you took your car there for

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like the direction taken here in the US over the last 15 years with the emphasis on warning the American public how complex modern cars are to work on. Most maintenance items are still as simple as they used to be to me.

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians.

You make something idiotproof, they'll make a better idiot

You think professional is expensive, just wait until you pay for amateur.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With all those dangerous cars about to hit the roads, its a good job I am staying at home this bank holiday!

I'm doing better than that, I'll be one of those idiots risking a breakdown by performing mechanical repairs on my car, and Simonf's as well.

Well spotted Chris.

Right, lets all mail the idiots concerned and point out they're not safe with a keyboard let alone a spanner near a car.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nobody has ever worked on any of my cars except for me...the first one, an MG TC I restored myself in my my first car I effectively built myself!! Having said that, I think the article is correct in cautioning people not to try to mend their car themselves..if they are from the same mould as the author of the piece!!

Scientists investigate that which already is; Engineers create that which has never been." - Albert Einstein

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One day very soon it will be illegal to work on your car....!

Along the lines of CORGI for Gas and 'Part P' Building Regulations for domestic electrical work.

You will have to, by law, take your car to a qualified/authorised person to carry out even basic tasks like changing a light bulb.

Come that day I will be shooting myself in the head or leaving the country!!

Chunky Lover

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Moo payes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caught between a rock and a hard place in a catch 22 situation, So its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Your damned if you do, but your damned if you don't so shut your cock!!!!!!!!!!!

Lotus Espirt Turbo S3    

Lotus Esprit S4 

Lotus Elise S2 Sport 130


Link to comment
Share on other sites

One day very soon it will be illegal to work on your car....!

Along the lines of CORGI for Gas and 'Part P' Building Regulations for domestic electrical work.

As a fully qualified NIC approved electrician, i fully believe the above statement Simon.

There are jobs IN MY OWN HOUSE that would void my insurance if i did not do them through

the firm i work for and issue a certificate, even though i've been doing it over 20 years and even

though i'd be testing and signing off my own work, on my own house, that would be exactly the

same with or without a certificate.

We get plebs phone us all the time "i wired my Kitchen/extension/garage myself, but now i'm

selling the house and the surveyor has told me it needs certification...". The NIC will not let us

sign off work we have not done (

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mostly helpful material there mate and covers a lot of very useful things to know,

but is a 2007 post and a lot happens in terms of both electrical and building regs

in a two year period.


It's based on the 16th edition so there is stuff there not relating to the 17th edition

(so don't take it as gospel anyone reading to see if they are in the clear) always

ask a real life sparks or planning officer rather than checking an internet page, as

the internet page, or forum it is on, will always carry a disclaimer rendering it

useless as a reliable resource.


Aside from this thread, i would have not talked about my job until tuesday morning,

so i'm afraid i have to not view this thread until next week, as work is something i do

when i'm not having a life!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

It does seem strange that, as a time-served aircraft engine/airframe technician (last on the tools about 20 years ago) I am gradually being 'legislated/advised' out of being able to perform maintenance tasks on a device as crude as a motor car.

OK, some of them have 19 computers (Citroen advertising of a few years ago) and require trained monkeys to connect expensive computer diagnostic equipment to pre-installed, purpose designed multiplug points before pronouncing that the repair (usually involving swapping a black box whose purpose is only explainable, by said chimpanzees, in the broadest of system terms) is going to require a second mortgage before it can be released back to the owner's custody.

I do despair of anyone who has the talent (lets face it, it doesn't take much talent), confidence and tools to look after their brakes etc, being prevented from doing so. Those who do attempt the repair and screw it up are a complete waste of skin and a sad burden to the gene pool. Those who rely on the dealership networks have made their own choice about the task and I can only envy their bank balances whilst lauding the fact that they are keeping the dealerships in business, if only so that I can visit their spares counters and purchase what I need.

It should be about choice, not legislation......

Just because you can invent a more complicated way of doing things, which is invariably more costly and specialised, requiring reams of 'nanny state' regulation, oversight and the inevitable clutch of 'outreach officers' translating common sense into multiple different non-english languages for the hard-of-understanding, is absolutely no good reason for doing so.

Ohh, I enjoyed that.... now where's the shovel gone that I use for clearing up piles of hobby-horse shit?

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.<br />

<br />

In practice, there is!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have had a fair few cars in my time, all the ones I serviced / fixed were still running well at 250K miles. Any I have let a garage service I have to get rid of in half that time. Besides, what do I know, I only work in the motor industry. Funny thing is I am usually the last point of contact in Europe the dealers come to when they have got it wrong and our technical centres are baffled. Guess I better take my car ( the day to day one) to the dealers and go to work and wait for them to ring me.

Why do these journos believe the crap they are told (perhaps it says a lot about the idiot at the other end of the pen). Just because they are useless cretins or propective next MPs doesnt mean every else is. Perhaps there needs to be stricter writing test applied to these people. Perhaps they should only be allowed to write high profile / informed items when they have an advanced test or perhaps there should be a word limit for those on "P" plates and a reduction in the number of articles allow to be written in restricted zones (economic etc)



Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a certain (not car related) journalist working for the BBC who has caused a lot of the public fear around banking and financial institutions. There should be some sort of basic test you have to pass before becoming a journalist / columnist / presenter / Financial editor / motoring editor etc.

Similar to the phrase about the one thing that should prevent somebody becoming a politician is the desire to become a politician.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If Autotrader feel so strongly about this I wonder if they will refuse to let you advertise you car for sale in there publication if you dont have a full main dealer service history. :P

We all know if they did stop all the shit crappy and stolen cars being advertised there wouldnt be much left and they would go bust.

Anyway when ever I've been to a main dealer it has scared the shit out of me how thick the idiot working on the cars are so much so that the last time I took a car to a dealer ( I needed a job doing that required a special tool I hadnt got and they were going to do the job as i waited ) I stopped them working on my car and had to finnished the job off my self correctly.

Dont get me wrong if you dont know what you are doing get your car fixed by some one that does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Gold FFM

I've been on the spanners for 30 years. There are some very good dealers, but I did work for one of the bad ones. I left after a row with the boss when I refused to lie to/stitch up a young lady following some very shoddy work by one of the 'experienced professionals'.

In those 30 years, I have left my car in the hands of dealers only twice:

1. Whilst I was abroad once, my wife had to put her car into a dealer for an urgent fix which cost, IIRC, a couple of hundred. The fix failed, the dealer had it again and failed to put it right, gave her loads of BS, so I came home and fixed it myself for

British Fart to Florida, Nude to New York, Dunce to Denmark, Numpty to Newfoundland.  And Shitfaced Silly Sod to Sweden.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't disagree with any of the above, but there are certain people who should not play with cars and most especially not brakes, "well it was leaking a bit, but I thought it would OK" when referring to the empty master cylinder. I recently borrowed a mechanic friend's van to pick up my new TV, I got to the end of his drive, no brakes, I put it back in his drive to be told "Oh it's OK there's some fluid in the cab just top it up!". I had the shop deliver the TV. There's good and bad on both sides, it's the 100 plus charge rate when you know the apprentice is doing the job at 10 dollars an hour! Even my daughter changes her own oil and spark plugs it's not like it's hard.

Life is like a sewer, what you get out of it, depends on what you put into it. (Tom Leahrer)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think maybe some of you are taking this to heart at little too much, the article states "The credit crunch has led to a massive 53 per cent of motorists attempting to carry out repairs themselves" Now do you honestly think 53% of motorists are able to carry out their own repairs safely?

Whilst I've no doubt many of you guys here are happy and able to, 53% of motorists? You have to remember the demographic of this forum is car enthusiasts, that often goes hand in hand with being handy with a spanner.

Next time you go for a drive just imagine every other driver you see coming the other way was in charge of changing your brake pads & ask yourself how confident you would be in their ability, just by judging them on looks alone. Don't get me wrong little old Dorris who can barely see over the wheel, the dopey blonde who's trying to dry her nail polish as she drives or the barely out of nappies young boy coming the other way may secretly be a 1st class mechanic...... but I doubt it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To: Any and all participants in the LEF online community

From: Specially Created Royal Office of Tyre Enlightenment


It has come to our attention, via anonymous sources deeply embedded within your organization (and handsomely paid from the not-so-secret Royal Swiss Monetary Account assigned to funding our Subversive Acts Division) that your members have of late been advocating what you so cavalierly refer to as "DIY" activities, up to and including the setting of one's own tyre pressures.

This post serves as initial warning to cease and desist from this highly dangerous practice, as henceforth only specially trained and governmentally certified tyre pressure management and monitoring personnel are to be allowed to check and set the public's tyre pressures, including, may we add, the spare in the boot or bonnet as the case may be.

Parliament has established provisions for severe fines, and possible imprisonment, for individuals found to be tinkering with their own tyres, and enforcement of this new mandate will be swift and without appeal.

Additionally, in order to sustain this new public safety effort, the amount of air required to properly inflate the tyres to the specified governmental specifications will be taxed in proportion to the volume used, and adjusted by enigmatic differential equations for final PSI readings.

We here at SCROTE wish you safe and happy motoring.

J. Smythfield Overinphlate

Director in Chief, SCROTE Internet Oversight dept.

8007 Rimbly Roundabout

London, UK

Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Upgrade today to remove Google ads and support TLF.

  • Create New...