Bad Lotus Day!

[mangel]

So, Yesterday I decide to take the Lotus fpr a run out down to our office in Croydon as I havn't driven it for a week or so.

I get in the car at 5 and set off no problems, open the sunroof to allow the air to flow through the car again for a little while the just as I'm passing the services south of banbury it starts to warm up a bit more so I think, I'll wind the windows down a touch and.....................................bang the clips give way on the front of the carbon sunroof and it leaves the car. I pull over as quick as I can slow down but no sign.........ARSE.

Get to croydon, park car cover with car cover and put on dislok for security.

Then end of day get back in car speak to wife, its throwing it down in Birmingham, Arse!! So I go and buy a load of clingfilm 6rolls and a roll of gaffer tape. In an A team stylee I fashion a new roof from these items and set off home at my max speed of 60, the cling gaffer roof inflated above me and my head actually pushing the underside of it up!!

Then I hit the rain no problems with the roof, all working fine, switch on windscreen wiper and off it flys!!!!!! ARSE

I am by now at the same point on the M40 I was when I lost the roof this morning, its to dangerous to continue fa with no vision and a clingfilmgafferroof flapping in the breeze above me so I make for a mate house and get him to give me a lift home!!

Arse Arse and double Arse!!!

I'm sposed to be in a charity car show tomorrow but if its raining I fear I shall not be going as a clingfilmgaffer roof and a windscreen wiper held on with cable ties is not ideal show material!!!!

[andydclements]

LMAO.

I feel for you Toby, but it's so funny when it's not yourself.

[freshcut]

sounds like one of those days where you wish you'd never gotten outta bed! I feel for ya as I've had days like that where everything goes wrong.

[ramjet]

I'm trying real hard to be sympathetic, but when you write it the way you have I'm just sitting here LMAO. (dinkum tears of laughter and everything)

I so hope this sort of thing never happens to me and if it does I may never post it up here.

Hope you get it sorted. Where did the roof panel go???

[superdavelotus]

Hi Toby,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. If you want to go to this show then you can borrow my roof if you like?

What colour is your car? I also may be able to find one that matches your car?

David Walters

[mangel]

No worries on the laugh front guys, If I didn't laugh about it I'd cry!! Thought the wife and my mates were going to wet themselves when I told them about the gaffer and clingfilm roof they were laughing so much!!

No Idea where the roof went. probably decided it should join its other carbon fibre mates flying about on a plane, just pleased it didn't hit anyone/thing!!

It was the front fixings which sheared so its worth checking them!!

M25 was also snarled to whatsits so a journey which should have taken 3 hours took 5.5 AAARRGGGHHHH

Dave,

Thanks for the offer

Its Medina Green so I think you stand no chance on the matching roof.

Probably going to speak to you about another carbon one as I loved the look of it.........................in the rearview mirror as it fluttered away into the early morning light!!! Need to sort funds first, might try some industrial polythene till then although someone has just recommended multi layered Kappa Board......Sarcy so and so's!!!

ARSE!!!!

[Newts]

Ouch.

I can sympathise with the losing a wiper after replacing the arm, buying a new blade and pin kit.

First sign of rain at 70(ish) and clatter, bang, whoosh and crunch, crunch as the car behind runs over it...arse

[mayevora]

Unlucky Toby - Shouldn't laugh but you do tell a good tale mate.

Always remember:- If you think you are having a bad day :-

It can always get worse!!!!

(Mod away if needed, but it is funny!)

Jokeing apart - my sister got hit by a flying surfboard that became detached from the car in front of her on the motorway last year. Expect the unexpected when driving.

Edited July 17, 2009 by mayesprit

[rogerch]

Ouch.

I can sympathise with the losing a wiper after replacing the arm, buying a new blade and pin kit.

First sign of rain at 70(ish) and clatter, bang, whoosh and crunch, crunch as the car behind runs over it...arse

"Pin kit" is that a service part, tell me more, mine needs re-pinning it's sloppy, all those years in the UK have worn it out.

Roger

[DanR]

OMG Ian, that's priceless, my mouthful just got ejected.....

[Rick Edwards]

mouthful of what ???

bearing in mind the picture, I think that needs clarification

[Iconic Ride]

Oh yeah, baby! Oh yeah! Moooooo-o-o-o-o-o-o!!! Don't stop! Don't stop! Maaaa-aa-aa-aa-aa.............????......????.........

Oops. So sorry. Wrong forum.

Dad gum IE8 redirects....I need to get me a new browser......

[mangel]

So, just to conclude this tale:-

The car went to the show on Sat and form what I heard the day was a success which is a result unfortunately I was working on my Landrover so couldn't attend so a friend took the Lotus.

Yesterday I went to pick the car up around mid afternoon. The weather was bright so I whipped off the hashed roof and zipped off up the M40 and M42, then just as I was headed onto the M5 I looked to my right and there in the near distance was the biggest blackest mother of all clouds ever!!!!

The heavens opened!!

I am pleased to confirm the following:-

At 70MPH in a down pour you will not get all that wet with the roof off as the water passes straight over. Also the screen clears itself with no need for the wiper!!

At 60 MPH there is some more influx of water into the car and you will start to develop a wet head. Vision is okay but not perfect

At 50 MPH you will find find your shoulders are now wet, your seat tops are wet. You cannot see very clearly out the front or rear windows

At 40MPH you are now getting soaked, you may as well be in a shower. Vison through the windows is immaterial as the rain runs down your forehead straight into your eyes

At 30MPH people on the side of the road are pointing and laughing as you drive by, you don't care or realise though as you can't see that far!!

At 20MPH vision becomes a little clearer as the rain is now hitting the windscreen so heavily its has formed a solid curtain of water.

At 10mph there is no longer enough wind to carry the water over the top of the car so it purs off the top of the windscreen if you've ever been to Centre Parcs and been on the rapids slide there think that kind of wet but colder.

At 0MPH even that rotund police officer who in my case would stop me for just breathing was chortling his head off in the large volvo next to me at the traffic lights, in fact he may have actually been crying but that could have been the rain running down the inside of my side windows!!

So in conclusion, just don't do it is my advice!! An Esprit with no roof, in the rain is a distictly unpleasant place to be!!

Right I'm off to dry out, it may be the following day but even my bone marrow feels wet!!

Edited July 20, 2009 by mangel

[andydclements]

ROFL

[Simon350S]

Sorry to hear your troubles, but as said, its highly amusin none the less.

Glad you've got a sence of humour about it!