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LEF Jokes & Gags thread


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2 hours ago, mayevora said:

With the changes in the budget I now find my classic to expensive to run, so if anyone wants a 50 year old woman with a  liking for red wine please leave a message  😥

You will have some other upcoming expenses... 2 daughters   2 weddings.....???

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  • Gold FFM

I actually had to google this. And it’s a real top - representing a team touring OZ. 
I’m stunned and shocked frankly - especially since Mr Rafiq and his exposure as a blatant anti semite

.ABCA3B6D-9E93-49EC-A1ED-1CAE0E0DBC03.jpeg.4f9ad7bb3a797bf2a4ca93e14e85357d.jpeg

Only here once

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On 19/11/2021 at 22:49, Barrykearley said:

I actually had to google this. And it’s a real top - representing a team touring OZ. 
I’m stunned and shocked frankly - especially since Mr Rafiq and his exposure as a blatant anti semite

.ABCA3B6D-9E93-49EC-A1ED-1CAE0E0DBC03.jpeg.4f9ad7bb3a797bf2a4ca93e14e85357d.jpeg

Barry, whenever the Pakistani team played down in Aus, they were always referred to as the “Paki’s”, even by the TV commentators. 

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Out for a Blat or on the Allotment

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There was an old man from Crocket 

who went up to space in a rocket

the rocket went bang! His balls went clang!

and his dick ended up in his pocket!

It’s only metal, it cannot win!

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There was an old lady from Kilbride 

who ate so many apples she died

the apples fermented, inside the lamented 

making cider inside her insides.

 

 

There was an old man from Cosham

who took out his balls to wash ‘em

his wife yelled jack, if you don’t put ‘em back

i’ll stamp on the fuckers and squash ‘em.

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It’s only metal, it cannot win!

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I dined with the duchess of Leigh

she said, do you belch when you pee?

I said no, not a bit

do you fart when you shit?

and I thought that was one up to me.

 

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Out for a Blat or on the Allotment

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