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I felt claustrophobic just watching that! Shocking!!

Still at least the guards were nicely dressed & well presented, not like most of the staff you'll see here,

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A farmer named Bill was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Scotland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brio

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I can't believe I find this funny, unbelievably dumb youtube clip:

Well... it's pretty self descriptive really... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxazZRfbups

Modifying esprit's.. now that's fun..

PS... I AM NOT A CERTIFIED MECHANIC.. I Have chosen to help those in need, in the past and must not be construed as being a certified technician.

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  • 2 weeks later...

No idea if this is genuine but it made me laugh !! :D

If it was its been removed from ebay!!,...... may not be suitable (sorry) but if so delete as required

wife.jpg

wife2.jpg

wife3.jpg

Edited by GordonMasson
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For some good old Eastern Canadian humour... click on "The Vette" and or "The Yammie"

http://www.tmorris.org/download.html

Modifying esprit's.. now that's fun..

PS... I AM NOT A CERTIFIED MECHANIC.. I Have chosen to help those in need, in the past and must not be construed as being a certified technician.

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A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with

huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This

doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk - that will teach us to keep mouth shut!

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These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts. Things people actually said in court, word for word, what is now published by court reporters who had the torment of trying to keeping from laughing and staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

_______________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

____________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: My Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=489-OatZkDo

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.

She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes' he says.

'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.

'It's best I stay here' he says.

''Why?' says the blonde.

The boys says:

'Because I am the f#cking goalie'

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This ones for Bigsi who recently traveled to our side of the pond to spend some time at Disneyworld.

The marriage between Mickey Mouse and Minnie had come to an end and they were in court getting their divorce. The judge was looking over the divorce papers and says to Mickey,

"I see here in your petition for a divorce that you think Minnie is crazy".

"No your Honor" Mickey replies. "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f***ing Goofy!!!!"

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- Knock knock?

- Who's there?

- Bigish

- Bigish who?

.............................. Push of you tramp

Edited by USAndretti42
Language. It's a family forum
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Thought I'd sweet talked my way out of a speeding fine -

Until the Copper spotted my dog on the back seat!

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Edited by mayesprit

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk - that will teach us to keep mouth shut!

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And... I'll have ya'll know.. that's a volkswagen back seat.

Modifying esprit's.. now that's fun..

PS... I AM NOT A CERTIFIED MECHANIC.. I Have chosen to help those in need, in the past and must not be construed as being a certified technician.

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