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Bad neighbours


slewthy

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Ok, here goes.

We share a driveway with our neighbours - bad, I know, but there it is.

We have to drive over their patch to get to our garage, and vice versa.

Its a give and take thing. The deeds split up the drive for a maintainance perspective and a dispute point of view I guess. But, at the end of the day, we share.

Well, our neighours are, well, odd. They drive a Porsche for a start.

we have lived here 7 years and have spoken with them, say, 7 times. They keep themselves to themselves, sort of - which is fine by me. Each to his own.

Thinks have got quite frosty over the last year or two though, for no obvious reason. If we are out, they refuse to accept packages delivered to us. If we say hello, we are blanked. They have started to laugh at us if we walk by - odd to say the least.

I was taking my Esprit to Coventry this week and had to park the trailer on the drive (their bit) for 20mins to load up the car and then I set it back on our driveway in front of the garage. Had we been on more affable speaking terms, I would probably have checked they didnt want to go out first, but as we arn't, I didnt.

I was just about to reverse my car down to attach the trailer and go, when the woman from next door stormed out and told me to move the trailer off her drive. I checked and it was over by 6 inches at the most and in no way blocking her access. She was livid and very insulting. My wife came out to see what was going on and received a stream of unwarranted abuse. I remained calm and reasonable, trying to ask what the real problem was but she was having none of it. She jumped in the Porsche and sped off, as she does. infact she has almost taken off the door of my wife's car recently such is her driving.

Frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of my kids. Its horrendous.

I've checked our deeds and the drive is split between us and the bit we own has been parked on umpteen times by her parents, their gardeners, their workmen, all with no complaint from us.

My wife is hugely upset and understandably so.

We are going to move house ASAP and get away from them. Its shocking.

Sorry to sound off but we are just stunned and upset. I think we are reasonable and I'm very aware of affecting others with my actions so I cant see that I have bugged them in any way. I cant make any official complaints about them or it could jeopardise a house sale for us.

:blush:

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein

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Sadly,

Yours is not an un common problem there are thousands of people that dont get on with there neighbours! down to society i guess, people work long hours, move more often etc so there is no bond, I would not move to solve the problem just go round and explain the situation from your side and see what they say, A little embarassing i know but at least you will clear the air and find out where you stand! It may well be that they dont like you working on the car, noise/mess etc some stuck up people cannot tell the difference between a car restoration and harding scrap cars! I have been very lucky as my neighbours over the years have been sound i.e drinks, saying hello barbacues etc.

Hopefully you get it sorted mate

A

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First off remain calm at all times. Imagine you are just about to operate on your neighbour's hip. Seriously. Secondly, any good solicitor will tell you that it costs nothing to knock on your neighbour's door and ask if they have a few moments to please talk about the driveway and see if you can come to any agreement about when you can "block" the driveway for whatever reason.

Resorting to taking any legal advice will cost you dearly and I don't mean just in terms of money. Solicitors letters dropping through your neighbour's letter box will instantly brand you as anti social even if the root problem is not caused by you.

If you can't resolve the issue peacefully with your neighbours then get your solicitor to check the deeds of the land and ask if a "Deed of Easement " can be drawn up to bring bang up to date the exact nature of the access to the land, Then if you do decide to sell and move away you have the latest info you can show any potential buyers.

We are lucky. Five detached houses built on part of a old farm, we share a very large and private driveway giving us all access to our garages. We share all the maintenance costs and each of us takes care to keep the 5 bar gate closed at all times and to drive quietly past the house which is next to the main part of the drive.

It pays to be civil to your neighbours even if you do really loathe them. Why stoop to their level? As I said try your best to talk to them first and resolve any issues before you drain your wallet to your solicitor.

I do hope you can get it sorted.

Though this be madness yet there is method in it ( Polonius in William Shakespeare's Hamlet)

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My chum Bonzo had this sort of problem, too - so, one day when we were all assembled at his place and had imbibed a bit, Bob (ex-3 Para) offered to deal with them in his own, inimitable manner; which he duly did.

Only problem......wrong neighbour!!

Scientists investigate that which already is; Engineers create that which has never been." - Albert Einstein

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Get out as fast as you can, before the problem escalates because you are legally obliged to tell of any ongoing disputes with neighbouars when you sell the house. And never ever buy a house with a shared drive again :blush: have you tried knocking on their door and calmly asking why things have disintegrated over the years? See if they're willing to talk?

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^^^ Much wisdom there; shared drives, which plonker ever thought they were a good idea? You say you share your drive but your neighbour was still able to get her Beetle out even with you 6 inches over "her" side. Does that suggest a rather wide drive which could be divided physically by a post & chain? Could you widen your side by reducing garden etc?

It's irrelevant (and possibly irrevocable) but is it possible your neighbours see you as competition, ie too similar to themselves (same house, swanky car etc)? There are some pointlessly competitive poeple in this world.

Edited by LooseCannon

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I would suggest a Simon 350 style party, fences etc all get chucked on the fire and Bibs will even bugger over into their barbed wire and cut himself all up!

We had a similar problem with neighbours, the guy opposite to be exact. He's used verbal abuse on my kids since hey were 6 and when I saw him lift his hand to Aaron I flew! My mrs had to run over to stop me laying him out! He's constantly freaked about people looking in his house and always mumbles about it. On top of that I think he has an inferiority car complex because he obviously can't afford a proper sports car, just having an RX7 and an MX5.

He hasn't said a word to me in 5 years and that suits me down to the ground!

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In my experience behaviour like this is usually a symptom of a different issue they have. They can't sort that, so it manifests in other ways. I think it's likely tied in with your restoration as the downturn in relations seems to coincide with when you started.

As others have said, go and talk to them, and the bit about having to disclose bad relations with neighbours is very relevant. For that reason alone I wouldn't involve lawyers at this stage, or even build a fence. Any of that leaves a paper trail, or invites questions as to why a fence was necessary, and the way the law is, that could rebound big time at a later date if you sell up.

Regards

Mat

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If you and your wife are not happy and can't see the situation improving, I would also say move.

2nd house I owned had a shared drive and I regretted it from the day we moved in. My neighbour was an elderly single lady who didn't even own a car and spent every waking moment in her living room looking out of the window to see what was happening in the road - great from a neibourhood watch point of view but a right pain if somebody visited me and parked 1cm over the imaginary line for more than 10 mins. It wasn't the reason we moved but wouldn't really recommend anybody to go down this route if at all possible. Remaining civil is the best advice if staying or selling.

Failing that, after the sale but before you leave, some strategically planted Lay Landai Fir trees and some Japanese knot weed as a leaving present. :blush:

Good luck.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk - that will teach us to keep mouth shut!

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Thanks everyone.

I'm alittle calmer now.

We are definately going to move - it was on the cards anyway - this has just acted as a strong catalyst.

You are right about here being other issue. It could be the Esprit/restoration. I get the impression of a huge chip on their shoulder. She even claimed to be paying for it because I work in the NHS!!! KNights move thinking or what! She referred to my car as a cereal packet. Arn't you impressed I remained calm and civil?

I'm not going to build any fence or anything. Im also not going to do anything that they could legitimately complain about. After we move however....

I'm going to pursue a 'just ignore them' course of action, unless they transgress again. I am keeping a diary of their actions though.

Right, I'm off to find my biggest hammer to pointlessly pound some metal for a bit.

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein

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Your plan probably most adult, reasonnable, their are however alternative :innocent:

1) buy a couple of rotweilers with an attitude

2) grill sardines in the garden closest to their windows every evening from now until september, except on saturdays where you barbecue a whole ox by digging a hole in your garden and filling it with coal (helps feeding the rottweilers)

3) take the exhaust of the lawn mower and start mowing around 6 in the morning (or whatever the legal time is in the uk)

4) take up bagpipe lessons (something to do while the sardines are cooking)

5) you have chidren ? drum kits and ear plugs for all :sorcerer:

6) send a friend to their door coming from a "concerned citizens" organisation, have them ask them if all ok with neighbours ? cos "confidentially" they are a couple of ex-torpedoes for a russian organisation on a witness protection program, but its all "hush hush" however they havent found all the bodies, so DONT antagonize them...........

I think they will be moving...and when they do ask them to sell you the drive-way :w00t:

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i have a great next door neighbour (car been on his drive for 8 months) the other side is a twat. a lot of rendering was falling off their house onto our patio, i made them aware of this after i had cleaned it twice. the next time a big piece had fallen off and could have realy hurt someone as it broke the table and chairs thet were on the patio.

iwent round and told them that then need to sort it. next thing i know i was being accused of threatening them shouting at them by (another neighbour told me this)

so thats what i did i went round and shouted that if they did not sort it i would kick some arse. rendering removed.

if they continue to piss you off go around and speak to them if they not very reasonably blow your stack.

It's Oogies turn to boogie

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Let them know that your cousin Mustaffa is almost certain that his "outsourced" work in the back bedrooom on the Iranian nuclear weapons program is most likely not going to detonate prematurely, but that no guarantee can be given.

Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose.

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Guest mkelite

sorry to hear about your neighbour problems, we've had some odd ones too.............or are WE odd! i think you'll find the problem is really that they only have a Porsche and youve got taste and got a Lotus! seriously, the best thing in my experience is to take a bottle of wine around and simply say sorry if there was any misunderstanding but the situation is you have to share the access and take it from there. then tell them to buy a Lotus. nah kidding again! good luck. DC.

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LOL neighbour's... Mine to my left even got the council to come around with a sound omitter of what ever its called to check the sound levels from my cars. As he complained it was waking him up in the morning, or disturbing him at night. But the levels where fine and he and his wife just try to find things about us to grass us up on. I have made a side parking space to our driveway and yep it was flagged but it turns out it was nothing to worry about again!!!

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we have lived here 7 years and have spoken with them, say, 7 times.

Some people get neighbours and don't see them for ages with stuff like 'i saw him putting out the bin but he did not say hello' or 'i saw her getting the kids into the car' and crap like that. Personally i can't handle that kind of vacant detachment, as with the last house, i went to my neighbours door before i knew who the hell they were or anything about them (or them knowing anything about us) and arranged to go out for a curry and a drink. We are not best buddies but we know each other and pop into each others gardens for a chat and that, take post in, etc. it's hard to be hard when you have spent an evening out together.

You create the relationship you have with your neighbours by the effort you make, 7 times in seven years? I speak to the guy at the petrol station at least 200 times more than that over a seven year period. You can't expect seven years of animosity from both of you to bear any fruit, it will be the same wherever you live if your social contact is reduced to that level. When you next move, before you have time to drive some wedge that lasts for three quarters of a decade, arrange an evening out together, or stay strangers forever, eyeing up some tarmac like it's the Somme...

:D

Lend me your house for the weekend and I'll have a few friends round for a Party. chances are you'll never have a problem with them again!!!

I would suggest a Simon 350 style party, fences etc all get chucked on the fire and Bibs will even bugger over into their barbed wire and cut himself all up!

He hasn't said a word to me in 5 years and that suits me down to the ground!

some strategically planted Lay Landai Fir trees and some Japanese knot weed as a leaving present. :)

Your plan probably most adult, reasonnable, their are however alternative :innocent:

1) buy a couple of rotweilers with an attitude

2) grill sardines in the garden closest to their windows every evening from now until september, except on saturdays where you barbecue a whole ox by digging a hole in your garden and filling it with coal (helps feeding the rottweilers)

3) take the exhaust of the lawn mower and start mowing around 6 in the morning (or whatever the legal time is in the uk)

4) take up bagpipe lessons (something to do while the sardines are cooking)

5) you have chidren ? drum kits and ear plugs for all :sorcerer:

6) send a friend to their door coming from a "concerned citizens" organisation, have them ask them if all ok with neighbours ? cos "confidentially" they are a couple of ex-torpedoes for a russian organisation on a witness protection program, but its all "hush hush" however they havent found all the bodies, so DONT antagonize them...........

I think they will be moving...and when they do ask them to sell you the drive-way :w00t:

If the answer to limiting yourself to seven conversations and not being able to form any no social contact with your neighbour is to be a bad neighbour yourself then you have dropped to an almost worthless cattle like quality IMO.

I hear swindon is nice.

:)

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Geeze, Paul. Don't I even get an "honourable mention" for suggesting the nuclear option? I'm devastated, mate.dry.gif

But you are exactly right. Good (and early) communications is the key to neighbourly realations. As a sign of good will, I have decided not to kill my neighbor's incessantly yapping runt of a miniature mongrel afterall.biggrin.gif

Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose.

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Had a problem with low life, brainless, waste of space neighbours some 15 years ago. Quality of life is what matters more than fighting these half witts, so I moved out to the country to a DETACHED house with OWN drive. Never regretted it.

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Paul,

We actually made reasonable effort with them at the start - we invited them to our daughters christening party. My wife helped look after her when she was unwell. When teir son went missing, we were all out looking for him, when their other son injured himself on the driveway, I went out and gave first aid. etc etc.

But I do think they are sociopaths. The only time they have people around is when their parents come on a sunday. Incidentally, they park on our bit of drive, so how crazy is all this??!! It actually never occurred to me that that was the case until she erupted last week.

We had a great relationship with our last neighbours and socialised with them alot. We also get on well with our other surrounding neighbours so honestly, I dont think its us. But then I would say that wouldn't I?

I'm half inclinded to go knock on their door to make the peace if I thought they would accept graciously but I dont think they would. (wine no good - they dont drink)

Its unpleasant as it is though, and I'm sure they are very stressed about it all. If I just got a sign, I'd give them the olive branch I think they need.

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein

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We've not long moved to a new house and our new neighbours have to drive over our driveway to access their own.

Within 2 days of us moving in the neighbour came out to shout at me about parking too far back on our own driveway so she couldn't get in to her drive. I felt she'd enough room to drive a van on there but I wanted to keep the peace so moved forward.

Since then she's ignored every cheery 'good morning' I've sent her way and even shouted at our guests about their parking. I guess there's just no pleasing some people & land/territory is one of those thing people tend to get very upset about. I plan to continue being overly nice to her in the hope that maybe she'll realise what a horrible old biddy she's being but I doubt that'll ever happen in truth!

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They've not spoken to me yet :)

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