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Famous Quotes and favourite 1 liners


Kimbers

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We all use quotes regularly and many of us have them as our signatures, but hows about all our faves in one thread!

 

So, whether it's Chapmans "Just add lightness" or Churchills "I may be drunk madam, but you are ugly and I will be sober in the morning...." get your quotes out!

 

(I fully expect lots of Woody Allen quotes here!).

 

A couple to start you off.

 

"I spent a lot of money on Booze, Birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" George Best

 

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens" Woody Allen
 
"Mike, there are 14 days in a week. Today, tonight, tomorrow, tomorrow night etc" Colin Chapman

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

 

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" George Carlin

 

"A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest." Winston Churchill

 

"I'm so broke right now, I can't even spend the night." Buddy Guy (To be used after Esprit C Service!)

 

"Problems are just solutions waiting to happen, so that’s all good then." – Ian Fletcher Head of Olympics Deliverance Committee (BBC TV)

 

 

 

"I told you I was ill" Spike Milligan Epitaph

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Almost anything by Oscar Wilde:

 

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much

 

Almost anything by HL Mecken

 

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary

 

 

Almost anything by Mark Twain


Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect
 

 

And Samuel Johnson;

 

Remarriage: The triumph of hope over experience

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In the garage no-one can hear you scream 

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I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit....

 

Aliens

This book is guaranteed to NOT change your life…but it does mention a Lotus Esprit...

To enjoy this masterpiece, download Martin now. Simples!!!

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"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."  Woody Allen.
 

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."  Woody Allen.

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Never heard that one Tim but :rofl:

 

Hows about:

 

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”― Mae West

 

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya Angelou

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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"Youth is wasted on the young" Bernard Shaw

 

"A cynic-a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing" Oscar Wilde

 

"Knickers Knackers Knockers"  Cosmo Smallpiece aka Les Dawson

(my wife once heard a New Yorker repeat the above in a rather camp New Yawk accent asking her what it meant-wish I`d been there, would have cried with laughter ).

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Rik Mayalls famous quotes: RIP.

 

Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it, doesn't mean that I'm not sick of this damn war: The blood, the noise, the endless poetry.

 

Rick (to Madness who are performing in the pub): Do you lot know Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard?

Suggs: You hum it... I'll smash your face in.

Rick: I'll go sit over there.

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Rick: God, I'm bored. Might as well be listening to Genesis

 

To Baldrick (dressed as a bridesmaid): Thanks, bridesmaid. Like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to!

 

All right men, let's do-oo-oo it! The first thing to remember is: always treat your kite like you treat your woman!

I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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"If in trouble, or in doubt.......run in circles, scream and shout!"

Scientists investigate that which already is; Engineers create that which has never been." - Albert Einstein

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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity that is found only in men who

are giving away someone else's cash.

 

The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.

Margaret Thatcher.

 

"You may have just taken understatement to a new level,"

Conservative MP Nigel Evans. Referring to Max Mosley’s admission his father may have over done it.

 

If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me, Why what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be

(W S Gilbert) of Gilbert and Sullivan

 

Love the last one, I'm great fan of Mr Gilbert

Life is like a sewer, what you get out of it, depends on what you put into it. (Tom Leahrer)

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"It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." Douglas Adams

"If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beattie's fingertips." Woody Allen

S4 Elan, Elan +2S, Federal-spec, World Championship Edition S2 Esprit #42, S1 Elise, Excel SE

 

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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before - Mae West

 

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice - Bill Cosby

 

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.- Lawrence Peter

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

S4 Elan, Elan +2S, Federal-spec, World Championship Edition S2 Esprit #42, S1 Elise, Excel SE

 

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My late Aunt Agnes, as advice to her nephew....

 

"A gentleman always removes his socks."

Scientists investigate that which already is; Engineers create that which has never been." - Albert Einstein

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