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Worst DIY mechanic jobs


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Prompted by 4.5 hours to change an alternator on a Saab 9-5. Reputed that some franchises drop the entire sub frame, engine and drive train. Still 180k on it so unlikely to need to do this again.

What's the worst job you've done?

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Did you cut a notch in the lip of the opening for the engine cover?  Might not be stock, but it gives more room to remove it and you'll never see the modification with the cover in place. Here's a lin

It's a common misconception that I was an aircraft engineer.  Although I worked in engineering and, through my love of aircraft learnt a hell of a lot about how they go together, I was in fact the IT

Now is that cable tying the handbrake on or cable tying the child up in front of the tv Didn't think you could weld ss to standard steel?? Live and learn

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The cam belt on my Mitsubishi Legnum - you have to dismantle half the car before you can get at it.

 

Removing the pedal box from my Turbo Esprit. You need the hands of a child and fairy sized spanners.

 

:)

It's getting there......

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Ask Sparky about a clutch change on a Meriva! :lol:

88 Esprit NA, 89 Esprit Turbo SE, Evora, Evora S, Evora IPS, Evora S IPS, Evora S IPS SR, Evora 400, Elise S1, Elise S1 111s, Evora GT410 Sport

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Water pump replacement, took three goes, lots of scratches all over my chest :(

Did you cut a notch in the lip of the opening for the engine cover?  Might not be stock, but it gives more room to remove it and you'll never see the modification with the cover in place. Here's a link to the thread with a picture:  http://www.thelotusforums.com/forums/topic/44627-can-you-change-an-s2-water-pump-without-pulling-the-engine/

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Too many to list!

 

But to name a few...

Saab power steering pipes - entire front of car off

Meriva clutch (as Bibs said) - front subframe including all suspension and steering, including rack

Esprit manifold, engine insitu

Esprit radiator

Esprit tanks, engine insitu

Astra turbo replacement

Passat oil pump replacement

Corsa 1.2 timing chain replacement (bloody annoying for such a tiny engine)

Renault heater rad (most models) - entire dashboard removal

 

I'm sure there's more, I'll have to think...

British Ambassador to Florida, New York, Denmark and Newfoundland.  And Sweden.

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It's a common misconception that I was an aircraft engineer.  Although I worked in engineering and, through my love of aircraft learnt a hell of a lot about how they go together, I was in fact the IT troubleshooter for LHR Heavy Maintenance, liaison with airline customers, and overseeing rotable management during 3rd party checks.

 

But I do have some fascinating stories!  Not to be shared here though.

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British Ambassador to Florida, New York, Denmark and Newfoundland.  And Sweden.

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Pretty hateful; trying to remove the passenger side window motor when half the holding bolts inside the door have been rounded off requiring a dremel with a flexi attachment and cutting while looking through the tiny ventilation holes on the underside of the door.

Vanya Stanisavljevic '91 Esprit SE | '97 XK8

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Heater matrix on a vw passat, most of the dash has to come out.

Easiest was a radiator on a Honda prelude, 4 bolts lift out, slide the new one in do up, job done.

Amateurs built the Ark

Professionals built the Titanic

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My Dad's total resistance to investing a bit more in a stainless steel exhaust. He was forever bodging up his mild steel V12 XJ-S exhaust with Baked Bean can sleeves. It sounded awful.

 

As for my own work: I've decided that life's too short to start yet another job, which I subsequently find that I am unable to finish. I haven't even had so much as a wheel of either Lotus.

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Mondeo TDCI front turbo hose (when you buy an aftermarket silicone one, and the ends aren't quite big enough to slide over the spigots).

Esprit-related -

Removing a broken tap from the Esprit block.

Lining up an Alunox exhaust manifold.

Fuel tanks.

Getting the power steering pump belt on, it should be a longer belt.

Those that looked like they were going to be really difficult, but that I found surprisingly easy -

Rear suspension lower link stud/bushes.

Engine mount heat shield assembly.

Rear suspension poly bush replacement.

Margate Exotics.

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I've found that any little job has the potential to turn in to a nightmare with my Esprit. Replacing the water pump meant a cam sprocket had to come off - did it want to come off?  Eventually..

 

My latest job of refurbing the front suspension should have been easy and over by now, but one seized bolt has cost me weekends!

Signature not working...

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Not a job I have done, but I believe the Ford Exploder requires the entire engine to be removed to replace the cam belt. And it is not a long distance between belt changes if I remember correctly.

All we know is that when they stop making this, we will be properly, properly sad.Jeremy Clarkson on the Esprit.

Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, some just stink more than others.

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Not a job I have done, but I believe the Ford Exploder requires the entire engine to be removed to replace the cam belt. And it is not a long distance between belt changes if I remember correctly.

 

In both the Renault Espace and Pontiac Transport with the V6 engine the sparkplugs on the rear bank cannot be changed without dropping the engine. Not fun when you buy one on LPG and find the plugs need changing regularly...

I have made many mistakes in my life. Buying a multiple Lotus is not one of them.

 

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1972 P6 Rover 3.5S when doing the inboard rear brake discs while working under the car using standard home kit ramps and a five year old decides to let daddys hand brake off to see what he was doing under the car which is on a slight incline, with small blocks under the front wheels I may add, the shout of me too said child when I saw the system move made said child jump about in car, the said car then took off down the ramps over the small blocks and down the slight incline to the hedge at the bottom of said incline while I am busily watching a dedion rear axle bounce up an down and said five year old screeming her head of in the same said car. Now try reversing that back up a bloody hill with the rear diff bouncing about.

Lessons learned, use bigger blocks and make sure all children are locked indoors

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Ahhhhhh........ Never work around kids or animals!!!!!

No one hurt which is the main thing - could have been nasty

Only here once

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Bloody brake pipes. Replacing rusty steel brake pipes with copper. On just about anything, particularly the fronts...

 

 

Lol, they are fun aren't they ! 

 

I've changed fronts/rears , pas pipes & clutch pipe, all a right pain! 

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Put my head above the parapet for this one I know a mates a mate he's a plumber he only helped me off with a double rad then I get the job of changing his A/C Condenser not sure if it was bolted to the car or the car to it   

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