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Life in the South East of England


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Chaps,

Been doing some tidying on my Esprit and spotted a few areas needing a bit of paint, so I called Autobits in Farnham (Surrey) to ask them to mix me some A23 Calypso Red.

No trouble, it would be ready by Midday.

About 2pm, I took Viv with me in the Esprit as we hadn't been to Farnham in a while although it's only a few miles along the road. We tried the Eastern entrance to the town, but this was filled in by a traffic jam - so I cut out of there, went up through Hale and down the Castle hill to meet another queue of traffic ( about 400yds worth).

Viv was despatched to Autobits to pick up the paint while I sat in the traffic and I would pick her up outside the shop. While sitting in the jam, two cars pulled out of adjacent spaces in Castle Street to be replaced by one selfish b*****d in a Jag who straddled both spaces, so nobody could park next to him.

My left calf muscle was getting sore from holding in the clutch, but about half an hour later I picked up Viv outside the shop ( which I'd hoped to have a mooch around). I wasn't going to attempt to park in Farnham, so we high tailed it to the out of town shopping centre at Frimley, where I'd get High Build Primer from Halfords.

Now this has recently acquired a large Next and TK Maxx, so the car parking area has had bollards added to block off previously clear avenues. This was solid with traffic. People were trying to use the avenues they'd used for years but having to turn around as their route was now blocked.

After witnessing some of the worst human behaviour eg people pretending to try to ram each others cars , we eventually got a space. I got what I needed and had to wait for HMV (Her Majesty Viv) who was poodling round the new shops, so I did what every sane chap would do and went and bought a Big Mac Happy Meal.

As I sat in the car eating my Happy meal, I watched people cutting each other up, a chap in a pickup had his space that he was reversing into stolen from under his nose by a woman in a Peugeot 106 - there followed a shouting and swearing match, although no blows were exchanged. Mindless idiots were accelerating hard along the avenues, so anyone reversing out of a space was at risk.

What on earth have we become?

A race of rude, ill mannered, selfish individuals with no common sense?

It took me around 2.5 hours to get stuff that would normally take 20 mins.

I had absolutely no pleasure from driving my Esprit.

I became sickened by my 'fellow' man (and woman).

The veneer of civilisation is paper thin.

The caring, sharing society that we believe exists- is actually a pretence.

The answer?

On-line ordering and home delivery.

That way, we need not encounter 'human beings'

What a life!

Alan

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Alan,

No doubt! Here in the states when a new mall opens - out come all the shoppers to get the best parking spot possible. My Mom once had to call the cops from inside her car, cause of the crazy women who claimed my mom took her spot. Whether or not my mom did, it's still sad she had to call the cops.

Here's to finding an open road! B)

Timothy

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The veneer of civilisation is paper thin.

The caring, sharing society that we believe exists- is actually a pretence.

The answer?

On-line ordering and home delivery.

That way, we need not encounter 'human beings'

Have you ever tried knocking on the massed doors of your immediate neighbours, say for a petition or something?? I did and roughly 50% were the biggest bunch of wide-eyed wierdos, agressive losers, dropouts, drunkards and psychos I have ever encountered. I won't let the kids go halloweening now.

You think because you live in similar houses, in the same area, in the same town that you are all alike and somehow connected, but like you say it's a veneer; by the looks of it to cover up an alien invasion that's already happened.

In the garage no-one can hear you scream 

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I had too many pints of 'Hook Norton Twelve Days' seasonal ale

last week, to the point i bought some chips on the way home for

my tea (still ate my tea mind).

Was mentioning this to the landlady a few days later and she asked

which chippy i'd called at, i told her. She told me that they don't go

to that one as the guy behind the counter had too many in the pub

one night (now barred), and he BIT the landlord.

:)

veneer of civilisation is indeed made a bit thinner still by the drink...

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Hey Alan, just think, all this space in the UK (89% of the country is undeveloped) and everyone wants to live in the South East. No wonder it's tipping into the sea...spread out people. When you overcrowd any animal, and humans are included in this, then they become aggressive and unpleasant. However, please note that those in the South East are all doing rather well...I dread to think what behaviour would be like if we were all a lot poorer...it would probably resemble downtown Baghdad.

One of the advantages of shift work is that you can shop/go to the cinema/play golf, whilst everyone else is working. I find it makes life less stressful.

For the ultimate challenge, I would suggest visiting IKEA on a weekend...

Stuart

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For the ultimate challenge, I would suggest visiting IKEA on a weekend...

Stuart

Agreed. I've been there, sword in hand, and as i walked amongst the

fighting and arguing couples with the ever present background chorus

of tiny tears, i became increasing aware that there were people there

just for a 'day out' with no intention of buying anything. I hear rumour,

but doubt it's truth, that Dante works the checkout on bank holidays...

:)

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Hi alan,

Know exactly what you mean after living in the misery of Basingrad!!

My suggestion is to buy a shotgun and go have some sport, or you can borrow mine.

Pete - another southeasterner

Pete '79 S2

LEW Miss September 2009

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Population count of the South East (UK) pretty much equals the total population of Australia. :lol:

Sorry bout that fact fellas.

:o

Simon  (94 S4)      My Esprit will be for sale in late 2017

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In a space bigger than Europe. Lucky bugger!!! :lol:

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During my 2 hour queue to get through the Blackwall tunnel Friday night some guy actually drove in to me he was so eager to cut in front of me. He only clipped my wing mirror and offered a half-hearted wave of apology but seriously, was that really necessary!?!

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[gloat mode] I used to feel like that living on the Wirral and working in Manchester - the daily grind just wore me down. So I took the plunge in 1997 and opted out, and decided to make a new start over here.

Admittedly it wasn't easy - nobody likes a smart arse so I ended up driving a cab at one point, but I've stuck at it and now have an interesting job I'd never have imagined before moving.

More to the point I live on an island, so I'm always by the seaside (a childhood dream), we have no speed cameras and no maximum speed limit (outside the towns), we pay a fraction of the taxes you're burdened with, no council tax (still on rates) and not a penny of my income goes to subsidise Tony Blur and Co.

Alright, we have no motorways, but 120mph (legally) on the TT course is quick enough for me...[/gloat mode]

Proud recipient of the LEF 'Car of the Month Award' February 2008

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: "Wow, what a ride!!"

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  • 2 weeks later...
The veneer of civilisation is paper thin.

The caring, sharing society that we believe exists- is actually a pretence.

Of course, you all know why everyone is being even more rude, aggressive, inconsiderate, nasty, selfish and uncivilised than normal?

Because it is Christmas !

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During my 2 hour queue to get through the Blackwall tunnel Friday night some guy actually drove in to me he was so eager to cut in front of me. He only clipped my wing mirror and offered a half-hearted wave of apology but seriously, was that really necessary!?!

:)

That would of been my cue to 'clip' his mirrors, lights & windscreen with my 'equaliser bar' ........... it's for the car jack .............. honest officer. :)

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i find my sheer size seems to make people really polite seconds after insulting me while im in my car. i get out and it all goes quiet, it seems like theres tumbleweed passing by.

i usually just look at them and politely say" im sorry i couldnt hear you with my windows up is there a problem?"

i usually get no replies and they scuttle off ..

my suggestion, grow to 6ft 71/2 inches, weigh 22 1/2 stone and look like the back row of the 1979 welsh rugby team that will scare the sh*t out of them.

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My thoughts only here. :( Some of you may wish to disregard. :(

Maybe this is a sinusoidal issue we're dealing with here which (this time of year) is directly linked to the (err) cricket. I think there will be a lot of angry, miserable fellow folk over there driving to work each morning listening to the morning sports news. :P

Being an Adelaide boy :( and currently living here again, I presently find that most drivers are cruising to work with a smile on their face. :lol::(:P

la la la B)

Simon  (94 S4)      My Esprit will be for sale in late 2017

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If there was a championship for Choking at major sporting moments no-one could get near us brits! Because we invented every decent sport its only fair to let others be good for a while, otherwise no-one would play with us.

As for the cricket we will unleash the Panasar on you (that is if the idiot DF gets a grip on reality).

I could have done with my lotus to cheer me up. Bah Humbug!

Alex (dont mention the cricket :lol::( )

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i find my sheer size seems to make people really polite seconds after insulting me while im in my car. i get out and it all goes quiet, it seems like theres tumbleweed passing by.

i usually just look at them and politely say" im sorry i couldnt hear you with my windows up is there a problem?"

i usually get no replies and they scuttle off ..

my suggestion, grow to 6ft 71/2 inches, weigh 22 1/2 stone and look like the back row of the 1979 welsh rugby team that will scare the sh*t out of them.

:lol:

I've noticed this too (although I'm not quite 6ft 7 & 22 stone!). A lot of people mouth off and give every hand gesture possible until you either stop in traffic or (if you are in front of them) put your hazards on and signal them to pull over.

The problem is in todays society no matter how big you are you are not going to stop some nutter with a knife, gun or iron bar and it's not really worth being killed over a 'traffic incident'.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Because we invented every decent sport its only fair to let others be good for a while, Alex (dont mention the cricket :):) )

I think you will find that the French invented cricket and the dutch seem to have claims on golf, as for skiing...the chaps from norway and sweden get that honour..

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

Friedrich Nietzsche

find me on Tripadvisor

http://www.tripadvis...mbers/espritguy

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My thoughts only here. :) Some of you may wish to disregard. :)

Maybe this is a sinusoidal issue we're dealing with here which (this time of year) is directly linked to the (err) cricket. I think there will be a lot of angry, miserable fellow folk over there driving to work each morning listening to the morning sports news. ;)

Being an Adelaide boy :) and currently living here again, I presently find that most drivers are cruising to work with a smile on their face.

That one again... :)

At no point in my life have i been either interested or aware of how England

are doing at cricket, the game has always escaped me and i find the idea of

settling down for six hours with a thermos and some sandwiches to be about

as sporty as those family holidays at skegness.

I am however, fully aware that (on the other side of the world) there are people

that champion a victory that is important to them greatly, albeit being as important

to me as having enough toilet paper in, or running out of milk.

Apart from a few pub pundits, i don't think i know anyone that could name more

than two of the England squad, Myself i could honestly not name one, it is of so little

interest to me, and it always has been.

So revel in your victory my Australian brothers, and be sure to post up if you win

next years tiddlywink/curling/beach volleyball/having the most bugs/the worst telly

in the world championships, and i'll still be content with the morning frost, the seasons

and my local English ale.

:):P:P

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That one again... :P

At no point in my life have i been either interested or aware of how England

are doing at cricket, the game has always escaped me and i find the idea of

settling down for six hours with a thermos and some sandwiches to be about

as sporty as those family holidays at skegness.

I am however, fully aware that (on the other side of the world) there are people

that champion a victory that is important to them greatly, albeit being as important

to me as having enough toilet paper in, or running out of milk.

Apart from a few pub pundits, i don't think i know anyone that could name more

than two of the England squad, Myself i could honestly not name one, it is of so little

interest to me, and it always has been.

So revel in your victory my Australian brothers, and be sure to post up if you win

next years tiddlywink/curling/beach volleyball/having the most bugs/the worst telly

in the world championships, and i'll still be content with the morning frost, the seasons

and my local English ale.

:blink::D:o

They don't have the worst telly in the world ....... they have "Rex Hunt"

S.

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Thanks for the thumbs-up Mark! (although your insincerity is a little transparent... :blink: )

Chicks playing beach volleyball - must see TV, but they intimidate me a little :o

Tiddlywinks sounds like something you would clean in a bath - not sure if I want to see that in wide-screen. :D

Rex Hunt got arrested for trying to take a knife from the Qantas lounge onto a jet - not a good ambassador.

You guys are so lucky.

Iain

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You guys are so lucky.

You do win at large bugs and things that can kill

you like snakes, spiders and sharks and all that though.

:blink:

We have a snake so rare i don't know of anyone thats

seen one, a few poisonous mushrooms and some wasps.

However, i am scared of wasps.

:D

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You do win at large bugs and things that can kill

you like snakes, spiders and sharks and all that though.

:D

We have a snake so rare i don't know of anyone thats

seen one, a few poisonous mushrooms and some wasps.

However, i am scared of wasps.

:o

Oh I dunno, we have the odd Adder around here (and I don't mean Accountant). I'm not scared of bugs, wasps or snakes, but Sharks scare me silly (after living in many hot climes). I say bugs but a red back attaching itself to my man parts would also scare the bejesus out of me!

My main phobia is the possibility I have to live in this country for the rest of my life! :blink:

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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Now I don't want all you fellas coming down to OZ looking for work and bludging on the beach like me, so here's one of our little critters for you to think about.

spider2.jpg

These wee little beasties can be found inside the house, especially at night in your bedroom walking on the ceilings. Insecticide (spider spray) has no effect on large spiders like this - just pi$$es them off and they get angry and start jumping at you and showing their nasty fangs. Grrrr !

These are'nt the ones you have to worry about though - it's the small redback (evil looking spiders) that pack the killer punch. Just last weekend I found three in the back shed and one in the swimming pool.

I've had to give the kids a crash course in spider recognition. B)

Simon  (94 S4)      My Esprit will be for sale in late 2017

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