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So the Police turned up!


Dan E

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So bumbling around this morning after late night at work last night. Wife says there is a police van on the drive! So have look and there they are blocking my drive. 2no officers walk to the door and say are you Daniel Elphick, erm yes, can we come in? I guess so.

so they come into the dining room and start asking where I was last night, well I was at work in Lloyd’s in Old Broad Street London, whats this about then, sorry sir we can’t tell you at the moment but there was a serious incident last night involving your van. Really, if you mean buying some diesel and a can of Diet Coke in Tesco’s garage then nick me now. That didn’t go down too well. 

Still no idea what they are going on about, so I say how serious and they say if we find out it is you,  you will be getting arrested. Jaysus!  Now I live in the worlds quietest road, nothing ever happens and I mean nothing, now we have 4 neighbours out doing their front gardens. Great. 

So I say I got to Lloyd’s about 5.30 and left about 10.00 and the van was parked in their underground car park all caught on CCTV and I signed into security under CCTV. Now I am thinking what the f&£k have I done. So they ask where were you at midnight, well I was at home chatting to my wife about Ray Donovan (good show if you haven’t seen it) and having a glass of very nice of red wine actually. Well sir can you prove that, erm no I can’t, then I thought you know what I can I got CCTV on the house no point really unless you want to see the odd fox or the Police turn up 

Off we all trundle into my home office, my son is thinking all of this is brilliant actual Police in the house, like real ones. 

Now I have never had any cause to look at the CCTV because as previously mentioned nothing ever happens here, so I have no idea how to work it, but luckily the Grasshopper did. So it shows me pulling on the drive at 11.05 and the van not moving until they turned up. So it turns out the van has been cloned and I now have a marker on it. So what does that mean chaps? Every time you get seen on ANPR you will get pulled up. Oh really that is a bit inconvenient as that van goes into London pretty much everyday what can I do? Nothing apparently until they catch whoever done whatever or the case is closed. Anyone know anything about this? I said look I will put a massive yellow dot on the back can you then have it’s not the one with the yellow dot. No Sir. 

So drove into London today and got pulled over! But to be fair to the Police they were totally professional both the ones that pulled me and the two chaps who turned up this morning and you know what it’s good to know you have them guys out there. I got a couple of plates on retention so I might just put one of them on for a while, just you look a bit of a knob turning up in a van with a personal plate, it’s a bit like turning up for a job  in a Range Rover ?

so there you go, I also have auto congestion charge and Dart Tunnel payments so  best I keep an eye on them. What a nightmare. Bastards 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posting your alibi and denial on a not very well known Internet forum is not going to save you Dan. My erm, professional, CCTV caught you kerb crawling around my manor in Swindon mate.

Cloning yeah yeah 

I tempted fate...now my Esprit V8 IS in bits...(sob)

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well they didn't mention kerb crawling so i kept quiet. yes it is a serious nightmare because what happens is the APNR picks the van up then sends it to the local cars the way i understand it.  The police have been great to be fair but it would be nice to know what happened and to get the marker off it. You know it might wear a bit thin after a while

 

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Good excuse to ditch the van and get a new eco one that’s tax free into the city.

itll be an absolute bastard getting that marker removed - it just isn’t that simple

Only here once

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You're the only criminal I know :lol: 

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88 Esprit NA, 89 Esprit Turbo SE, Evora, Evora S, Evora IPS, Evora S IPS, Evora S IPS SR, Evora 400, Elise S1, Elise S1 111s, Evora GT410 Sport

Evora NA

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Can't they refer your van to the record for the engine number? The baddies couldn't have cloned that as well? Should quickly identify you.

Why don't the police give you some sort of official card that you can show the next coppers that you check out? Should not be that hard?

All we know is that when they stop making this, we will be properly, properly sad.Jeremy Clarkson on the Esprit.

Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, some just stink more than others.

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3 minutes ago, ramjet said:

Why don't the police give you some sort of official card that you can show the next coppers that you check out? Should not be that hard?

I bet the guys in the cloned van already have a forged one of those, referring back to Dan's vehicle...

I tempted fate...now my Esprit V8 IS in bits...(sob)

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More than likely. So if Dan keeps getting pulled over, why aren't the bad guys?

All we know is that when they stop making this, we will be properly, properly sad.Jeremy Clarkson on the Esprit.

Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, some just stink more than others.

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4 hours ago, ramjet said:

So if Dan keeps getting pulled over, why aren't the bad guys?

They are, but they keep on telling the fuzz that "their" van has been cloned :sofa:

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And an engine number check should sort that out instantly shouldn't it? Ok. So they could say the engine has been changed. Should be updated on the system. Let's go to the chassis number or the VIN.

This isn't hard.

All we know is that when they stop making this, we will be properly, properly sad.Jeremy Clarkson on the Esprit.

Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, some just stink more than others.

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Hi that sounds like a real pain, the problem I see, if the Crims have carried out a serious crime then the cloned plates or the van will have been disposed of only leaving you van to keep getting pulled. The crime will stay on record along with the marker on your van indefinitely. Changing you plate may be the only way to prevent this.

hope this gets sorted for you asap

regards Dan

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12 hours ago, Bibs said:

You're the only criminal I know :lol: 

That statement alone is criminal.

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British Fart to Florida, Nude to New York, Dunce to Denmark, Numpty to Newfoundland.  And Shitfaced Silly Sod to Sweden.

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12 hours ago, Dan E said:

what is an eco van these days. lease is up in March and i was going to buy it. enlighten me

https://www.directlineforbusiness.co.uk/van-insurance/knowledge-centre/buying-and-selling-a-van/buying-an-eco-friendly-van

hindsight: the science that is never wrong

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Well it gets better as they now say that it is unlikely that the other van will be used again and if it is it will most probably be on another set of false plates. Great so can you take the marker off my van then? No Sir. 

So if anyone wants to ferry some drugs around I have just the vehicle for you. 

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To be fair I would but I have had it since new, it is pretty much mint and I had the B service done on Monday last week. The contract is up in March and I can buy it for 9k which seemed a decent deal as it will save me £400 a month. Currently looking a a plate for it C10 NED that should sort it out ?

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So next week we have to watch crime watch and see what the real crime was.

Had this years ago, early 80's. My old Anlgia had tractor plates on he. so every road check I got pulled. Just glad hey didn't have anr then.:ph34r:.

What a nightmare if your regularly in the city.

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Dan, claim it wasn't you, ever, and refuse to pay congestion charges.  Result.

British Fart to Florida, Nude to New York, Dunce to Denmark, Numpty to Newfoundland.  And Shitfaced Silly Sod to Sweden.

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