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ramjet

Bullying

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I saw an item pop up on Facebook the other day, (I hardly ever go there) about 'Dolly'. She was a lovely little girl who ended up as the Akubra hat model. Fast forward some years to when she had just turned 14 and she has ended her life due to bullying and harassment.

My son was bullied and has finally made his way though it. I am talking 5 years of his life where we didn't know if he was going to still be with us the next day.

He was bullied at school. The protagonists were called into the vice-principals office and one of them basically laughed while being told off. Schools do not have an effective solution for bullying.

A friend of ours daughter is being bullied at school now. She has ended up at home as she is scared to go to school and yet the bullies are still at school only having to attend detention during lunch hours. No suspension has been meted out. The victim however is not at school. What is even more bizarre is very one of these young girls was at the victims birthday party/sleepover just a few weeks prior and everything seemed fine. Someone even set up a Tinder account for her which has been discovered and removed. The police are involved now. The young lass is 12. Her number was given and every other detail by the bullies.

I don't believe workplaces have effective things in place to curb bullying either. My son was bullied there and when this was brought to the attention of other workers and eventually management etc., the answers my son got were 'Don't let him know he is getting to you as it will only get worse.' From management, 'Nothing has been found to indicate that your complaint has any basis.' My son, an apprentice. The bully, a mechanic of several years employment. The other workers who said anything to my son? All appprentices who were concerned about keeping their jobs or the hell it could be made if they said anything. The bully is also a great drinking buddy of the direct supervisor of the department.

My daughter is now getting it from other people that my daughters ex bleats to.

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it is like the heavy kid on youtube that finally snaps and picks up the skinny smaller lad that is bullying him and basically body slams him into the ground. Violence is probably not the right answer as it is basically assault whereas the bullying (mental and in type) seems to have no repercussion in law.

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Hi Michael, 

Am glad you have posted this, such a sad situation. I’ve luckily not had too much exposure to bullying, I was on the receiving end of a couple of incidents at school but fortunately ignored it and the bullies got bored and went away. I have some friends who’s son was a victim for a year or so.. very difficult as it took some serious complaints for his school to take any action.. eventually a boy was expelled and the situation is ok now. I think highlighting it raises awareness, I’m sure these days it is more difficult as so much socialising sadly is done on FB etc but raising awareness must help along the way. Schools must be answerable in law at some point, but don’t want to admit it goes on in their institution. Good luck.

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Bibs may have far more insight into the online world, but why don't things like facebook etc jump on this sort of thing as soon as they are notified?

Is that censorship the thin end of the wedge?

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There are 2 trillion posts on facebook, it's impossible for them to impose moral policing on such volume. They do have some smart stuff like AI that can recognise suicidal posts and offer advice etc but even with 23,000 employees it's impossible to track it all... 

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I was more thinking of them turfing an online account once notified of that person bullying or harassing Bibs. Do they do anything like that in response to a police request?

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This is a long and complicated subject. As old as time itself and not sorted since year dot. I think all schools will say that have working 'anti-bullying' policy ongoing and in place. Do they work/have they ever worked? Well not in my opinion. My oldest daughter had it for 2 years where she didn't want to go to school or even walk down our road. She has come through it, is 20 and is at Uni. Youngest sailed though thankfully no issues.

My personal view is a bully only understands one thing - It's a power/control trip. If they haven't got the power and are refused the ability to feel dominant they can't bully. Bullies are on the whole cowards. They very rarely bully on there own as they need the back up of a group. One thing a bully really hates is someone standing up to them and (rightly or wrongly) being on the receiving end of the first smack in the chops.  Yes they'll be punishment at school but the punishment will always be better than living in fear of that bully and guaranteed they'll pick on a different target in future.

in the workplace much harder and haven't got any answers.  Obvious Instant dismissal unfortunately for any physical intervention. Leave, get a different job and state why in the reason for leaving.

Hope you get it sorted.

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This was actually displayed at the kids school - noticed it a few years ago and had to take a pictureBBC29A7B-CEF6-49FC-B135-48E6903CD21E.thumb.jpeg.3d099adfc4163520e9c3d7f9fa6bc252.jpeg

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Couldn’t believe it myself - had to take a picture

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Yep. If the bullies didn't know the words before, they do now and it shows the mindset of the person that wrote and then the person who ok'd it.

Was just talking to my daughter who is going through all sorts of mindgame hell from her ex, it has cost her jobs in town. She called this one of the most toxic places she has lived. She went on to say that bullies even exist in the highest places of government.

I am going to tell her to stop letting herself be treated like a victim. She tries not to, but every man and her dog that even slightly knows her is giving her a hard time.

  • Sad 1

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1 hour ago, ramjet said:

She went on to say that bullies even exist in the highest places of government.

Having experienced 2 years of hell over the last 3 from our local planning department id fully agree. Had I not been of strong enough character (read stubborn) they would have won. They were wrong and continue to be proven so. 

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