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UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS

Understanding Engineers- one

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when

one

said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,

minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw

it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice - the

clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Two

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a

particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been

waiting for fifteen minutes!".

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept

golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him.".

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?".

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.

They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so

we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so

sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil

engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with An accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Six

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough

features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Seven

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to

him and

said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

The Engineer bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke Up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and Returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

princess,

I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back

Into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a

Beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do

anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

:coffee:

I have to ask myself - 'do I feel lucky'?

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:lol:

Duly sent to one's Engineer father!....and every Engineer I know in Lotus and Honda as well!

Possibly save your life. Check out this website.
http://everyman-campaign.org/

 

Distributor for 'Every Male' grooming products. (Discounts for any TLF members hairier than I am!)

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If only everyone were as logical as engineers.

Have a guy in our office who is really, really smart but socially awkward. One night, he got a ride back fromt he track to the hotel with one of our trackside types who always has at least two girlfriends on the go. In the car, he asked the lothario a bunch of questions about how to pick up women, how to keep them and all the rest. Next thing we knew he had a girlfriend and now he's happily married to a really attractive girl.

So before you make fun of engineers jsut remember the story above about how engineers can use logical thinking to their advantage.

S4 Elan, Elan +2S, Federal-spec, World Championship Edition S2 Esprit #42, S1 Elise, Excel SE

 

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